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A Thorny Situation Apr. 19, 2022
"Ow!" I exclaimed, clutching my leg. "I've been stabbed!" I looked down and saw my attacker, an inn... Read More
Sitting Duck Apr. 12, 2022
Husband: Honey, can you call the duct company? We need to get our ducts cleaned. Me: We have ducks?... Read More
...And Then the Dog Died Apr. 05, 2022
When my dad made his speech at my wedding 30 years ago, he said, "Life doesn't begin at 40. It begin... Read More
Indisposed Mar. 29, 2022
Usually, when someone goes to the dentist, they worry about things like cavities and gingivitis and ... Read More
I've Got You Under My Skin Mar. 22, 2022
When I'm in the mood to be traumatized, I usually just go bathing suit shopping. Jeans shopping runs... Read More
Losing by a Hair Mar. 08, 2022
I have very short and spiky hair. In order to maintain its shape, I need to get it cut every four we... Read More
A Problem of Micro Proportions Mar. 01, 2022
Usually when one of our appliances dies, we get some kind of warning. When the dishwasher went, it s... Read More
One Last Super Bowl Story Feb. 15, 2022
I have to admit I'm not the most savvy sports enthusiast. Fortunately, what I lack in knowledge, I m... Read More
The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Smell Feb. 08, 2022
It started with a smell. "Do you smell that?" I asked my husband who was working in what seemed to ... Read More
An Arresting Groundhog Day Feb. 01, 2022
"Mrs. Beckerman?" "Yes." "Mrs. Beckerman, I'm with the Groundhog Police." "Oh. How can I help you, O... Read More
The Doctor Is In Jan. 25, 2022
"Oh, no!" I exclaimed to my husband. "My giant yucca plant is sick." He glanced over from the couch.... Read More
I See the Light Jan. 18, 2022
My husband, apparently, is a superhero. For some reason, when he needs to fix something in the house... Read More
Keeping My Chin Up Jan. 11, 2022
Like many women of my (ahem) mature age, I get daily fashion emails from a website that is geared to... Read More
Let the Celebrations Begin Jan. 04, 2022
"Do you know what today is?" I asked my husband. "New Year's Day," he said definitively. "No, it's Z... Read More
You've Got Kale! Dec. 28, 2021
"We're going to eat more kale in 2022," I said to my husband. He looked at me morosely. "Why? What d... Read More
Have Yourself a Haunted Holiday Dec. 14, 2021
We have a haunted house. Well, I can't say that definitively because I've never met the ghost or gh... Read More
You Have To Be Thick Not To Get This Dec. 07, 2021
"How do you like the new tortilla chips?" I asked my husband as he chomped on a new tortilla chip wh... Read More
A Snood by Any Other Name Nov. 30, 2021
"What's a snood?" I asked my husband while I sat on the sofa perusing a new clothing catalog. "I don... Read More
No Can Do, Can You? Nov. 23, 2021
When it comes to Thanksgiving, there are two kinds of cranberry sauce people: the can people and the... Read More
All the Right Turkeys Nov. 16, 2021
Somehow or other, I managed to get to the age of 56 never having made a Thanksgiving turkey. I have ... Read More
