"We're going to eat more kale in 2022," I said to my husband. He looked at me morosely.

"Why? What did I do?"

"What?" I said. "Nothing."

"Then why are we going to eat more kale?"

"Because it's good for you," I said.

"So is kelp," he said. "But I don't want to eat that, either."

I frowned at him. I had no idea why he was so biased against kale. Kale didn't taste bad. In fact, in a recent survey of the top 20 most hated vegetables, kale was No. 19 ... much less unpopular than Brussels sprouts, which clocked in at formidable No. 1 and had a 98% yuck rating. Even people who don't eat vegetables said they hated Brussels sprouts, so that should tell you everything you need to know about Brussels sprouts. Even my dog, who would eat anything, including dirt and slugs, would not eat a Brussels sprout if it fell on the floor. Personally, I happen to like Brussels sprouts, and kale, so I'm not sure what that says about my husband and me other than, perhaps, opposite vegetable haters attract.

Up until just a few years ago, I'd never even heard of kale. When it came to dark green leafy vegetables, I was firmly on Team Spinach. Then, all of a sudden, everyone started talking about superfoods, like quinoa and kale, and how eating them could make you feel better, live longer, see through walls, and pick up a car with one hand. You could get kale salads, kale smoothies and even kale cookies, which, even I'll admit, is a sin against Keebler. Social media said kale was the new dandelion greens, which didn't mean much to me since I don't routinely graze in my backyard.

Eventually, though, I got on the kale-wagon and decided to add more kale to my diet. I was ambivalent about the taste, but my husband was not. He hated it. Detested it. Loathed it! And this was coming from a guy who once tasted our dog's dinner to make sure it hadn't gone bad.

We'd actually been down this new-food road once before. Years ago, I tried to introduce tofu into our diet. My husband refused to believe it was a food item and tried to convince me that it was actually used to grout tile.

Meanwhile, back at gross food central, I wondered how I could get my husband on board with eating more kale. I thought maybe I could hide it in his food the way I used to chop up spinach for the kids and put it in their macaroni and cheese.

So, I looked online for a kale recipe and found one for a "Hearty Kale Salad." I read through the instructions and then stopped at step three, which told me to massage the kale.

Massage the kale?

Did I have to take it to a spa? Would I have to spring for a facial for it, too?

I scoffed and slammed my laptop shut.

If anyone was going to get a massage, it was going to be me after having to deal with all this kale nonsense.

Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, "Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble," available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com. To find out more about Tracy Beckerman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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