Dear Family Coach: My 16-year-old daughter is desperately trying to land a competitive internship at the local newspaper. I happen to know the editor from the Rotary club. Is it OK to try and pull some strings, or is it better to let her stand on her own two feet? — Helpful Dad

Dear Helpful: I believe this might be more of a moral question than a parenting one, but I'll tackle it anyway. Knowing the right people provides a distinct advantage. Maybe there is honor in doing everything on one's own. However, most people take an advantage when it's offered. I don't think your daughter is necessarily required to disavow that advantage. That said, I do think there are several other considerations.

To begin with, I wouldn't think of pulling strings for a child who isn't doing her part to reach her goals. That's the kind of help that isn't, in fact, helpful in the long run. Eventually she will need to learn to create her destiny with hard work, and now is a good time to begin those lessons. However, if your daughter is interested in journalism and has been working hard to reach her goals, I see no reason a call to your friend to put in a good word is particularly meddlesome. Just make sure to ask your daughter whether she would like your help before you get involved. Assuming everything is copacetic, go ahead and make the call. But to avoid any potential awkwardness between you and your friend, make it clear that you will absolutely understand if your daughter isn't selected. Simply put in your good word, and leave it at that.

If she is hired, it will be on her to prove her worth. She might have to work twice as hard to show she deserved the chance. If she doesn't land the position, encourage her to continue to pursue her dream job. There's always another internship.

Dear Family Coach: In an oddly "Brady Bunch"-like circumstance, my son recently broke a lamp in the house while dribbling a basketball. He has been asked on several occasions not to bounce the ball in the house. I'm upset and want to take away his allowance this month to pay for the lamp. My husband feels that he shouldn't be punished because it was an accident. What say you? — Mad Mom

Dear Mad: You have every right to be angry. Your son broke something, and you will have to pay to replace it. It may well have been an accident, but he ignored your request and didn't stop dribbling. Furthermore, just because there was no premeditation or malice doesn't mean there shouldn't be a consequence for the action.

It sounds as if you never clearly explained what would happen if your son did bounce the ball where he shouldn't. Therefore, you are partly to blame for his blatant disregard of your wishes. Sure, he could have just listened, but children often don't work that way. Logical punishments teach children of all ages that there are consequences for their actions. Sometimes those consequences are unpleasant and help children remember how to act in the future.

All things considered, I'm siding with you on this one. Having your son pay for the lamp seems logical and reasonable. I'm sure he won't make the same mistake again.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.