DR. WALLACE: My grandpa served in a major war, and he was actually aboard a ship and in a live battle being fought. My father is extremely proud of my grandpa's military service, and he mentions it every chance he gets the opportunity to do so.

And when my grandpa comes to visit our house, my father has told me to always physically salute my grandfather, the way soldiers do a salute to their superior officers. I've been doing this for a while now, but I noticed that my grandpa sometimes waves his right hand sideways like he's silently telling me that I don't need to salute him. Anyhow, it's over quickly every time that I do it, and we start talking about something else like fishing or sports or something fun that we both enjoy.

Now that I'm getting a little bit older and more mature, I'm wondering if it's actually appropriate for me to be saluting my grandfather every time he comes over to our house. When my father is there, I feel like I am obligated to do it, so I've been doing it because I was told to do it by my dad.

I've thought about asking my dad if I could stop saluting him now that I'm a little bit older and not such a small kid, but I've been hesitant to ask him since I know how caught up in grandpa's military service my dad is. What's your opinion on this situation? — Expected to Salute Grandpa Every Time, via email

EXPECTED TO SALUTE GRANDPA EVERY TIME: Well, now that you're older, I feel the appropriate next step to take is to talk to your grandfather privately about this. On the day you decide to do this, salute him as normal when you first see him, and then later in the day, after you've spent time with him and you're talking to him about various subjects, bring up the salute to him directly.

Tell him honestly that you do it as a matter of respect for him and for his service, and that your father has specifically requested that you do this each time you see your grandfather when he visits. Tell your grandfather that you are happy to keep doing it if he feels it's appropriate, but you don't want to make him feel uncomfortable since you sometimes see him waving his hand as if to say, "It's not necessary."

Perhaps you and your grandfather could come up with a more comfortable alternative but still make reference to his service in a way that your father may also appreciate. For example, when you see your grandfather for the first time each trip to your house, you could say, "Hi Grandpa! Thank you as always for your service to our country. How are you today?" Another version of the same idea would be to say, "How is my favorite veteran doing today, Grandpa?"

Make your grandfather part of this discussion, and see if he can come up with a way for you to comfortably acknowledge his service in a way that your father will also notice and appreciate but that will be more comfortable for your grandfather and for you.

I LOVE PARTICIPATING IN ACTIVITIES MY GRANDMA DID IN HER DAY

DR. WALLACE: Our grandmother recently passed, and we were all thinking about her, talking about how much we loved her, and telling great stories she would tell us about her life and upbringing.

I remember one story in particular where she told me that one of the most fun things they used to do in the summer and early fall was to lie underneath "shady trees with oval leaves" and look up at the sky to guess what they would see in the clouds that were drifting by. She told us she and her friends would spend hours talking and laughing about what they thought they saw in the clouds above those trees.

Hearing her various stories as a child and young teenager as I was growing up was definitely one of the highlights of my relationship with her. She was always so calm, positive and grounded. You could literally talk to her about anything, she had great stories to tell, and she was always on our side and looking out for us.

Now that she's gone, I'm feeling more and more like following in her footsteps by actively seeking to spend time engaging in some of the activities that she used to do in her lifetime. A few of my siblings are good with it, and we even enjoyed doing some of these activities together while we were talking about her the whole time.

I've thought about asking some of my friends to try some of these activities with me, but I'm hesitant. Of course, they never knew or met my grandmother, and I'm wondering if my friends will think it's kind of dorky to lay under a tree and look up at the sky, for example. Should I ask some of my friends to try these activities with me, or should I just keep them within our family to honor my grandmother? — Might Invite a Friend to Join Me, via email

MIGHT INVITE A FRIEND TO JOIN ME: You absolutely should mention this to a few of your close friends (when there's a good day of weather) that would be comfortable engaging in this or any similar activity your grandmother used to enjoy. You could definitely mention that you learned about it from your grandmother originally but that you found you liked it so much that you wanted to share the activity with a couple of your close friends.

When you actually find a friend to try this with you, simply mention that you got the idea from your grandmother, but leave it at that. Don't go on and on about your grandmother, just simply mention that she was the source of the original idea. Then immediately engage your friend as to what that friend might in the sky, and the two of you can have various conversations of your own about what you see, which friends of yours you may see in the clouds above and so forth. Not only do I think this activity is a good idea, but you can silently know deep down that your beloved grandmother was the inspiration.

In today's supercharged social media world, spending an hour or so lying underneath a shady tree looking up at the clouds passing by sounds like a really good, relaxing and bonding idea for time well spent with a close friend. Both of you will benefit from a break from everything else that is going in the world for an hour or two.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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