DR. WALLACE: I'll turn 17 in two months, and when my parents recently asked me what I would like to get for my birthday, I told them I'd like to get one small tattoo on my shoulder.

My father immediately mentioned that I could get all the tattoos I want once I'm 18 and living out on my own, but for the time being, he's going to make sure I remain a "clean slate" as a minor. How can I convince my father that it's no big deal to allow me at least one small tattoo without having to wait another full year? — It's No Big Deal These Days, via email

IT'S NO BIG DEAL THESE DAYS: I will agree with you that tattoos are very prevalent these days, especially among young adults and even some teenagers.

Since your father is not receptive at this point, it's better not to continue debating about getting one for your 17th birthday, given his lack of enthusiasm. However, as you draw closer to your 18th birthday, you will indeed have more leverage and perhaps enough maturity for him to reconsider his position. Once you're within two or three months of your 18th birthday, there may be a way to approach him to revisit the conversation successfully. Until then, think about what type of tattoo you'd like to get, and realize that you'll have plenty of time to reconsider or make a different choice as to the subject matter.

In the long run, you'll be able to get your wish if you indeed still elect to do so when the time comes.

MY STEPFATHER AND I GOT PHYSICAL, SO I MOVED OUT

DR. WALLACE: I got into a really heated argument and then a physical altercation with my stepfather. I'm a guy who's almost 17, and after this happened, I moved out of the family home one afternoon. I went to live with a friend who goes to my same high school. My friend's parents allowed me to live there, but they kept telling me that I needed to get the approval of my mother before I could stay there long-term.

After a week of being gone and not responding to my mother's calls or texts, I finally texted her back and explained what was going on. She knew I was somewhere close by because she found out I continued going to high school.

My mom has now proposed a new idea for me. I can either return home to live with her and my ignorant, deceitful, stepfather, or I can go live with my grandparents about five miles away. These grandparents are on my mother's side, so she's comfortable with me living there if I want to for the time being. What do you recommend? — I Have Two Choices, via email

I HAVE TWO CHOICES: I think it would be more appropriate at this point in time for you to go live with your grandparents on your mother's side. This would give you a breather from your stepfather, and not having to be under the same roof with him at this point is likely to allow the situation to calm down for the foreseeable future.

Be a good "tenant" in your grandparents' home, be respectful to them and follow their rules because it's indeed a privilege to be allowed to move in with them. Your next step would be to have your mother stop by and see you at your grandparents' house regularly so that you can maintain your relationship with her and tell her your side of the story so she can understand fully where you're coming from. It sounds as if you have a little over a year until you'll formally be an adult and can make your own decisions as to where you would like to live. Hopefully you can do your utmost to maintain tranquility for the next school year in front of you.

It's your mother's responsibility to speak to your stepfather and see if there is any chance of him calming down and reconciling with you at some point. In the meantime, focus on being a good student at school and getting along as well as you possibly can with your grandparents and mother. You're fortunate to have such a convenient alternate residence to live at. Be respectful and thankful for that opportunity.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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