DR. WALLACE: I'm off to college and very much looking forward to living on campus and getting adjusted to college life. As I was about to head out, with my car fully packed for the long drive, my mother sat me down with a cup of coffee and talked to me about a lot of things in general. Some of it was broad life advice, some of it was specific, but one thing stuck with me.

She told me that it would be in my best interest to go a little bit past halfway regarding my responsibilities in various situations I was sure to encounter in the coming months and years.

When I asked her what she specifically meant, she told me that I'd remember her advice when I needed it. She gave me no specifics, and then she changed the subject to some other bits of advice that were easier for me to process.

I've been curious about what my mother meant by the "go more than halfway," so it's been on my mind more than it otherwise likely would have been. Do you perhaps know what she was talking about? If you have any insight, I would definitely be up to hearing your take on what you thought she may have meant. — Mom Gave Me Mysterious Advice, via email

MOM GAVE ME MYSTERIOUS ADVICE: First of all, I think your mother is an absolute gem! To sit you down with a cup of coffee and have a long and meaningful conversation with you before you head out to an exciting yet unknown chapter of your life is what passing the torch between generations is truly all about.

My best guess is that your mother is advising you (remember, she said it would be in your best interest) to go slightly beyond halfway regarding your responsibilities, and this could extend to many scenarios. For example, if you have a roommate and you agreed to divvy up chores around the house, definitely keep up with your half and do a little extra each time. I'm not advising you to do 80% of all the work, but don't be afraid to do an extra 5 to 10% beyond what you're expected to do.

The same holds if you're out to eat with friends or a group of friends. Be sure to pay your fair share of any bills you incur, and don't forget to include a prorated amount needed for a gratuity, if applicable.

If you're out with just one friend, when you're planning to pay the bill and the friend gives you money for half the bill, you can tell your friend that you'll cover the tip and just take the friend's half of the food and beverage amount. Don't forget, you would've covered 50% of the gratuity anyway, so covering your friend's half of the gratuity is a generous gesture that is noticeable. Be nonchalant about it, but develop the reputation that you are not only reliable, but that you go a little bit above and beyond whenever the situation calls for.

I think also what your mother may have meant was that once you establish yourself in this manner, you can call in a favor when you're short on time or under duress for some reason. Your inner circle of friends, or your roommate, will likely feel more than happy to step up and help you out. Your mother is wise, as in life, when we do both reliable deeds and good deeds, we build up a reservoir of goodwill that we can occasionally dip into when the situation calls for it.

I WANT TO ALSO BE KNOWN AS CHARMING

DR. WALLACE: My mom often has outings with some of her best friends, and I heard her talking to my father this past weekend about how "charming" one of the daughters of her friend was.

Charming is not a word that I've heard used in our home before, and my mom has certainly never said that about me. How do I become charming? — Wish to Become Charming, via email

WISH TO BECOME CHARMING: The word charming is more of an old-school word these days, rather than a regular part of current terminology when it comes to vocabulary. That may at least partially account for the reason you haven't heard the word used too much, if at all. Charming is often used to describe a person who comes across as regularly pleasant and delightful. I would also add that an individual who is sincerely engaging also has a higher likelihood of being called charming.

Collectively, this means a person who takes an interest in others, who can hold an uplifting, positive conversation and generally wishes the best for the person they are talking to and others around them. If you'd like to set your target on being called charming someday, be enthusiastic, but not overly so; be interested and positive when you speak to others, but again, there's an art to how much you push these traits forward without going too far.

The key is to not only appear to be naturally sincere and enthusiastic, but to actually be so! That way it comes naturally, as conversations and interpersonal engagements are regularly both enjoyable and quite comfortable. I truly believe anyone can become charming, whether it occurs naturally or via well-intended design, because the outcome is well worth the effort and justified for all parties involved.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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