DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who lives in a relatively small town, and I've got three close friends. I've grown up with them since we were all literally 7 years old in grade school.

Two of the three of them recently got in trouble, as they got caught drinking alcohol. All four of us are 17 years of age, so they were absolutely participating in underage drinking, which is greatly frowned upon in our community. One of the reasons for this was a highly publicized local car accident a few years back that took five lives, including those of two innocent citizens who were hit head-on by a drunk teenage driver.

These guys are basically good kids, but they definitely got caught up in peer pressure via one of their older brothers, and obviously they both made a huge mistake. My problem is, my parents are now getting involved to greatly cut back my free time and exposure to these two particular guys. We all go to the same high school and will see each other at school regularly, of course, but both my parents are discouraging me from spending time with them outside of school hours. My dad even told me that those two boys are no longer welcome at our house.

Both boys have apologized to their families and to the local authorities for their mistake. They haven't repeated it, and in talking to them, they're both pretty shook up about how much anger they stirred up in our community.

I'd like to spend time with them again the way I used to, but I'm not sure how to go about this. It seems everyone is treating them like outcasts these days. — They're Not Bad Guys, via email

THEY'RE NOT BAD GUYS: Indeed, any teenagers anywhere in America, or around the world, who participate in underage drinking are making a huge mistake. The mistake your two friends made was definitely heightened by the local history in your community, especially that horrible accident years ago.

Perhaps you could speak to your friends and encourage them to make a public statement of remorse, or even write a letter to your school newspaper or the local newspaper in your area. They could use this forum, or any other forum you can think of, including social media, to apologize to their families and the entire community, and to promise everyone that they will not make the same mistake again.

Of course, if they do this, it will be paramount that they keep their word. Human beings by nature will make mistakes, and how a person's character is greatly determined is how they learn and adjust their future behavior after prior mistakes.

To me, it appears your parents are seeking to protect you from their influence, and of course your parents don't want you to be drinking alcohol under any circumstances. Assure your parents that you have no intention of doing so, and mention to them that your friends are remorseful and will not repeat their misguided behavior. If possible, perhaps you could arrange a meeting with one or both of your friends and all your parents in an effort to clear the air.

MY GRANDPARENTS ONLY NOTICE SPORTS ACHIEVEMENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school sophomore, and my older brother is a senior. He's a star athlete at our high school and also a good student, as he gets about a B average on his grades.

I don't participate in any sports, but I take my academics quite seriously and I'm a straight-A student. I'm already on track to attend a great college, and I have a wonderful career path mapped out in front of me at this point. I put a lot of time and effort into my academics and into planning ahead for my future career.

Our parents shower us both with equal praise for our academic achievements, and my brother for his athletic achievements. But when my grandparents come to visit, they simply fall all over my older brother and talk endlessly about his sports games, but they barely say anything at all to me about what I've achieved. Don't get me wrong, they're nice to me, but it's quite obvious they're way more impressed with my brother than what I've accomplished so far in my life. I wouldn't say I feel jealous about this, but I feel disappointed. I work every bit as hard as my older brother. Why is it that some people only seem to care about sports? — He Gets All Their Praise, via email

HE GETS ALL THEIR PRAISE: For the past century or longer, America's had a fascination with and adoration for sports and especially star athletes of all types and descriptions. There are absolutely many other things in life that are more or equally important and that truly mean more to 99% of individuals in the long run. Your skill set and developing accomplishments clearly fit into this category.

Rather than saying anything directly to your grandparents or living with the feeling of disappointment you currently endure, I recommend you have a quiet discussion with your parents.

Tell your parents what you've told me here, and perhaps one or both of them could have a quiet word with your grandparents in a tactful way. They could encourage your grandparents to engage you in a few conversations about your accomplishments and future plans. I feel there's nothing wrong with them "fawning" over your brother's accomplishments as long as they do the same for you. In my opinion, both of you have earned well-deserved recognition.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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