Dear Family Coach: I'm a work-from-home mommy without a nanny. I have endless respect for the stay-at-home parents who practically run my 9-year-old's school. However, sometimes I feel they don't respect me or my time. I volunteer to be the chair for the PTA's fall fundraiser because it means the world to my child. The stay-at-home PTA moms call tons of last-minute meetings, which often start late, and then they waste time gossiping. I'm missing work to be there. How can I gently explain to them that my time is valuable and ask them not to waste it? -Worked-Up Mom

Dear Worked Up: As a work-from-home mommy, I can relate to your question. It's true that many of the stay-at-home parents don't truly understand the realities of your parenting experience. From their point of view, working in the PTA is their job, and they do it proudly. Chitchatting for hours while stuffing envelopes or putting together the silent auction is good for the school and often good for the parents involved. Are they being blind to your scheduling needs? Yes. But it's more out of ignorance than malice.

Your silent frustration is the stuff that keeps the mommy wars alive. Don't let it brew. Try to communicate calmly and sincerely with the heads of the PTA. Let them know that you would like to find a way to make the PTA more inclusive of working parents. Help them understand what prevents more parents from joining in on activities. Suggest weeknight meetings, keeping a focused agenda, and starting and ending meetings on time. Make sure to check your anger at the door, or they won't be able to hear your message. And keep at it. Change takes time, but the working moms coming up behind you will thank you for your efforts.

Dear Family Coach: My 15-year-old son is very private. He doesn't like to tell us much about his life. I'd like to read his texts, but my husband says I shouldn't. Is it all right to do this, or does it invade his privacy? —Snooping Mom

Dear Snooping: Privacy on his cellphone is an interesting concept. On one hand, children should grow accustomed to the idea that nothing they write or share is ever fully private. A false sense of privacy sometimes leads kids to share things they regret at a later time. However, I don't think it benefits anyone to have a complete lack of privacy between a teen and his parents. I wouldn't have wanted my parents to know my every thought in high school, and I doubt you did either.

Snooping is a dangerous business. If you snoop, you are likely to learn information that you can't unlearn. You might see a side of your son that is distasteful to your fully grown self but normal to teens. You may find out information that is upsetting or even shocking. Whatever you find out, you will have to decide whether you need to discuss it with your son. Boy, won't that be awkward? And guaranteed, he will be furious and distrustful of you.

Unless you fear he is in danger or engaging in extremely risky behavior, I'd say leave the phone alone. You have more to lose than gain. Instead, focus your attention on getting to know your son in another way. He might just open up over a game of Monopoly or a hike in the woods.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.