Dear Family Coach: Ever since my daughter turned 6 she has developed a disrespectful attitude toward me. She is an angel at school, but at home turns downright mean. I want to allow her to have feelings and express them. But when she talks back and refuses to do anything without a fight I am at a loss. I've talked to her about respect. She's lost privileges, and there have been real consequences to her actions. Still, nothing has changed. How can I teach her to be as delightful at home as she is at school? — Fed-Up Mom

Dear Fed-Up: Your daughter is terrible at home and perfect at school. Believe it or not, this is terrific news. Allow me to explain.

Your daughter has learned what is permitted at school. She abides by the rules and social norms of the classroom. This is great news because it means that she is capable of being respectful and controlling her behavior. There are no major impediments that cannot be overcome. The other bit of good news is that your daughter feels safe enough at home to let it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly are in full view because she knows you can handle it. Clearly you have taken care to show your daughter that it's OK to express feelings in your presence.

So how do you reign in those feelings? Start by telling your little angel that you will no longer respond to her when she is being disrespectful. Be specific, and let her know what specific behaviors you mean. Whenever your daughter displays any of them, give her space. Say nothing to her, and don't address the behavior. When she scores no response from you she will find another, more positive way to get her point across. Focus more on rewarding her with attention (or tangible prizes) for cooperation, listening and a good attitude. Also, remember to follow through with any requests. Don't let her off the hook because she is being unpleasant.

Dear Family Coach: I'm a single dad looking to diversify my activities with my children. What are some interesting, yet little known activities parents do with their kids that can really make a difference in their growth and development? — Open To Ideas Dad

Dear Dad: This is like asking me to name every kind of ice cream across the globe. There are endless activities you can do with children. I'll happily suggest a few, but do me a favor: Instead of worrying about growth and development, focus more on fun and enjoyment. The most important difference a parent can make in a child's growth and development is to simply be present and willing to engage. Worry less about whether your children will learn anything from an activity or whether it will help them get into the best college.

In no particular order, here are a few recommendations: Go skating. Play pingpong or video games. Visit an arcade. Spend the day at the amusement park. Attend a baseball game. Paint pottery. Shop for food, and cook a gourmet meal. Go to the library. Make up a play, and perform it for the neighbors. Organize a flag football game. Set up a chess tournament. Learn a new skill together. Make paper airplanes. Have an egg-drop contest. Build a fort. Bake a cake for a sick friend. Decorate holiday cards. Design a new invention. Use Google maps to armchair travel all over the world. You can even simply play a game of Uno. Whatever you do, engage fully by putting down your cellphone and making your children the priority. And have fun!

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.