Dear Family Coach: My grandmother died in a concentration camp in the Holocaust. This might sound weird, but as a tribute to her memory, my 20-year-old daughter wants to find out her camp number and have it tattooed on her body. She views this as a beautiful ode, however, I am beyond horrified. Legally, I can't do anything. But what can I say to make my feelings clear? — Sad Dad

Dear Dad: Your daughter wants to honor the great-grandmother she never knew. She doesn't want the world to forget what happened to her. Her great-grandmother existed before the horror of the Holocaust killed her. In your daughter's mind, how better to be connected to her than to share the same tattoo she had? Your daughter's tribute is a beautiful thought, but her logic is supremely flawed.

Your grandmother was tattooed against her will. She was branded as a number, and then murdered as that number, not a human being. I didn't know your grandmother. But I can imagine if she were alive, she would tell your daughter not to memorialize that number. I'm certain that seeing the number on your daughter's arm would give your grandmother indescribable pain. I don't think your daughter understands that. She is blessedly removed from that tragedy, and thus, she can't fully connect to those emotions. Find a way to express this to her without the discussion being about the downside of getting any tattoo.

As you say, you can't stop your daughter from getting a tattoo. She's an adult. But maybe if she were to learn more about your grandmother, she could find another way to help remember her. I would also suggest visiting a Holocaust museum and asking whether they are in touch with any local survivors. She clearly has an interest in what happened so long ago. Speaking with someone who was there might change her perspective, and she might find a different outlet for her interest.

Dear Family Coach: My ex-husband and I split custody, and he recently bought our 12-year-old son a snake. My ex is traveling for the next three weeks, and he and my son have asked that the snake stay at my house during that time. My son insists the snake is safe and he'll take full care of it. But I loathe reptiles and want no part of this. Can I say no without being awful? — No Snakes Please

Dear No Snakes: Saying no to the snake doesn't make you awful. You didn't decide to buy a pet snake for your son. I'm fairly certain you made a conscious choice to keep an animal that you loathe out of your house. Just because your ex decided it's a good idea doesn't mean you have to live with his decisions. You are entitled to say no, and it doesn't make you awful.

However, before you voice your final decision on the matter, I suggest taking one moment to think it through. I wouldn't say yes just because they say no one else will watch the snake. But if this snake is something your son loves, he might like to share that joy with you. It may be possible to create some rules and boundaries to manage the snake at your house. Maybe consider borrowing the snake for a few hours one day to try it out. See if you can live with it. If you can, do your ex (and son) a favor. It's a good deed, and it will put good karma back into the world. If you can't live with it, well, that's that. The snake isn't welcome at your house. At least you tried.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.