Dear Family Coach: My daughter is the most negative human being on earth. Her go-to response for anything is negative. Upon hearing the news that our family was going to Hawaii, she said, "Oh, it's too hot there." After we threw her a big, expensive birthday party that took loads of planning, she told a friend who asked about the affair that "it was tiring." I am so frustrated with all of our efforts being snubbed. I worry that her negativity will turn others away from her. Some friends even call her a Debbie Downer. How can I make her more optimistic about life? — Optimist

Dear Optimist: Your daughter has a pessimistic worldview. While that may rail against your optimistic nature, there are some benefits to her negativity. Some studies show that pessimists have a longer life expectancy and are less likely to engage in high-risk activities. This, however, doesn't change the experiences of others who encounter your daughter's sullenness. But understanding why she is so negative might help turn it around.

Defensive pessimism, the kind of blanket negativity your daughter displays, is a self-soothing mechanism, and it is almost involuntary. If your daughter is anxious but always imagines the worst, she can only be pleasantly surprised when life turns out differently.

The problem, though, is this outlook can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Understand that her unenthusiastic response doesn't mean she didn't love her party or isn't excited to go to Hawaii. She can't help her first reaction; but it doesn't have to be her last. Give her a chance to change her opinion by not putting too much attention on her negativity. If you say, "We're going to the movies, and it's all-you-can-eat popcorn day!" and she spews negativity, ignore it. Don't describe her as a pessimist or laugh at the fact that her friends call her Debbie Downer. Another outlook might emerge, one that allows her to have fun and be flexible.

Dear Family Coach: My 16-year-old son has a video game addiction. Except for homework time, he literally plays every waking minute. He barely sleeps, and has stopped wanting to go see friends who aren't in his game world. When I try to stop him for the day, he becomes very aggressive. As a single parent, I am afraid to push him further, but I don't want him to waste his last few years at home on those stupid games. Help! — Gamed Out

Dear Gamed Out: Game addiction is real, and it is as serious as other addictions. There are a handful of red flags that suggest gaming has gone too far, including: an obsessive preoccupation with playing, irritability and mood swings when not playing, and a significant impact on other areas of life. Your son, for example, isn't socializing or sleeping. And I'll go out on a limb and say he probably isn't completing all of his homework.

You are right to be worried about prying him from his game every night. Although it will almost certainly turn ugly, I recommend a complete and total detox period. I suggest getting help from a therapist who can support your son and help him work through his anger and fear about missing out on the games. Once he stops his around-the-clock requests to play, you will likely see that he develops other interests and re-engages with friends. Work with the therapist to determine if gaming is safe at all for your son, and if so, apply strict rules to ensure it never gets out of hand again.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.