Dear Cheryl: My boyfriend of 10 years ordered adult movies behind my back. I pay the cable bill online with my credit card, so I usually never see the paper bill. However, I took a look the other day and noticed there was $150 worth of adult movies. So I went and looked at all the previous bills, and I noticed the same charges on those as well.

I feel so foolish about never paying much attention to the bills. I'm also very angry, but I'm not sure what I'm angry about — him going behind my back and watching that junk, or me paying for it with my hard-earned money. Maybe I'm insecure, but I feel like I'm not satisfying him. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? — Angry, but Why?

Dear Angry, but Why?: There are at least four different things to consider here.

Number 1: Is your boyfriend unhappy with your sex life? Lots of perfectly satisfied men enjoy adult movies, online pornography and adult magazines.

Number 2: Was your boyfriend being sneaky? Maybe he thought you are OK with him watching those videos because you pay the bill, but you've never said anything.

Number 3: Were you an idiot for paying the bill without looking at it? Yes, but instead of beating yourself up, resolve to start managing your money better.

Number 4: Now, what about the movies? Would you be OK watching them with your boyfriend? If so, suggest it. Are you OK with him watching them at your house if he pays for them? If so, tell him. If you're not comfortable with him watching them in your house, tell him that. But whatever you decide, think about the future — don't dwell on the past.

Dear Cheryl: I think there's something wrong with me. I'm halfway through a great college education, and I have everything going for me, but I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been kissed, and some of my friends are getting engaged!

I wonder if I'm just not sending the right signals. I've always been a little bit of a tomboy, and while I'm not hideously unattractive, I don't dress up very often. It's gotten to the point where I've doubted my sexuality and seriously considered if I am meant for a celibate lifestyle. I'm not looking to dive headfirst into the dating world, but it'd be nice to be asked out one of these days instead of having to do the asking myself. — Ready Already

Dear Ready Already: There's nothing wrong with you or your sexuality. And if you were meant for a celibate life, you'd be happy with your current situation, not looking to change it.

I think you've already identified the problem: You're sending the wrong signals. You need a makeover. Ask one of your girlfriends to take you under her wing. She'll be flattered. Have her take you shopping. Buy some clothes that show off your figure — as long as they don't make you uncomfortable. Get a good haircut and let a department-store makeup artist show you how to apply a little subtle makeup.

When you look better, you'll feel better. Then join a dating website and go on lots of dates. Once you get the hang of it, it'll be easy, and even fun.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."