Dear Cheryl: I've been with Kevin for two years. We've had plenty of battles and broken up a handful of times, mostly because of him. He never wanted to work on things. When we'd have a fight, he'd want to break up. Then he'd come crawling back. Because I loved him, I'd take him back.

During these breakups, he would say things to chip away at my self-esteem, things I'm almost sure were intended to hurt me. He'd tell me I didn't have enough hobbies and was lazy. He'd ask to meet me while we were broken up, tell me he loved me, and then not contact me for a few days. He tortured me. I was in agony. We haven't broken up in almost a year, which is a record for us.

However, something's bothering me. My son's father, Nick (whom I was with for four and a half years before I caught him in bed with another woman), is always on my mind. We talk weekly, and he still makes me laugh. If I were to marry Kevin, I couldn't imagine telling Nick because I can't imagine letting him go for a lifetime.

The strange part is I'm attracted to him, but I can't imagine being with him again. It seems too weird. But I do miss him. When I hear that he's in another relationship, it makes me jealous.

Is what I'm feeling normal? Is there still something going on with my ex? Should we try things again? He's not currently seeing anyone, and he still tells me he loves me, though we've been apart for five years. Or should I continue to go through life with Kevin? I'm going to hurt no matter what I do. I've been crying and lost for weeks. I'm Ready to Flip a Coin

Dear IRTFAC: How do I say this nicely?

Your choice of men leaves something to be desired.

Let's start with Kevin. A man who plays mind games and undermines your self-esteem is not the kind of a guy with whom you build a future. And how strong can your feelings be for him if you're still so hung up on Nick? So, step one is to dump Kevin.

And then there's Nick. Here's a guy who cheats on you, doesn't marry you although you have a child together and tells you he loves you even though you're with another man. And he's had five years to win you back and hasn't bothered. Another loser. Step two, accept the fact that you and Nick are over and limit all contact with him to conversations about your son.

Step three: Promise yourself that you're through settling for just any man and you will hold out for someone who treats you with respect and wants to marry you.

Before you can do that, you have to believe — really, really believe — that you're worth a great stand-up guy. Your priorities in 2017 have to be getting yourself to that place and taking care of your son. That's where you need to put all your energy, not on deciding which of these two losers you want to be with.

When you feel strong and healthy and worthy, you'll find a man who will honor you and love you.

Got a problem? Send it to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."