Dear Cheryl, I've always valued my friends over any boyfriend because after a break-up, my friends are the ones who are there for me. But I've never had this problem before.

I recently met Cooper. He's really great and we mesh well together. He's met a few of my friends and they all love him. All except my closest guy friend Seth. Seth is gay. One night, Cooper and I and Seth and my girlfriends all went out together. Seth felt Cooper made some rude remarks to him. But I was right there, and so were my girlfriends, and no one felt Cooper was rude.

Cooper has a pretty dry sense of humor, and I think maybe Seth was a bit too sensitive about something Cooper said in an attempt to be funny. He certainly didn't make any anti-gay comments or anything like that.

That was their only meeting, but ever since Seth has made it clear that he doesn't like Cooper. Cooper and I are getting fairly serious, and I'd like for Cooper to be able to go out with all my friends, including Seth.

I feel guilty because I take my friends' opinions to heart, but I just don't think Cooper is a bad guy. All of my other friends think he's great! Cooper has even asked about Seth a few times, so it's not like Cooper hates him.

What should I do? I don't want Seth to feel that I'm betraying him. —NEW GUY OVER OLD FRIEND? OR OTHER WAY AROUND?

Dear NGOOFOOWA?: Tell Seth you really like Cooper and you want him to get to know him. Tell him you know Cooper got off on the wrong foot with him, but you'd like him to give him a second chance. Arrange a dinner for the three of you.

If Seth isn't willing to get to know Cooper for your sake and the sake of your friendship, then he really isn't much of a friend.

Dear Cheryl, I caught my husband watching internet porn. Before this happened, I had lost interest in sex for a while. I didn't tell him I knew what he was doing. What I did was to really step up the sex with him to let him know I was interested again.

A few days after we had good sex, I caught him again. This time I confronted him. He said he would stop and we worked things out. But I'm still the one who's initiating sex. What should I do? Should I continue to seduce him or let him come to me when he wants it? — BACK IN THE MOOD

Dear BACK IN THE MOOD: Many men, maybe even most men, watch some porn. Your husband might have been watching porn long before you "caught" him. It might have nothing to do with your dry spell.

You need to educate yourself about porn. Just because a man watches it, doesn't mean he isn't attracted to his partner and it doesn't mean he's a pervert. So, continue to seduce him. Continue to make sex exciting. And tell him you enjoy being seduced, too.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

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