Today, we hear more about the women who lose themselves when they marry ...

ALLISON: Sometimes when I speak to my married friends on the phone, I feel that their conversation is strained. These poor women are unable to talk freely on their own phones in their own homes because their husbands are eavesdropping and will take them to task after they hang up.

CONSTANCE: I, too, disappeared into suburbia while I was married and raising two children. I didn't like the area where we lived. I found another suitable house, but my husband wouldn't budge. We helped our neighbors and socialized with our neighbors, who were a bunch of needy people. I was surrounded by them. I got sick and tired of helping/doing/sharing. I felt like I was wasting my time.

I also had jealous, hateful-in-laws. I tried for 12 years to get along with them or ignore them. I got divorced, which isn't a picnic either. I have to work to pay the bills, cope with my husband's new wife and deal with the unfair visitation with the children. I feel outnumbered. I also have to see his new wife at all family functions. She prances in like a queen with my ex, who is her fourth husband. She's quite the social butterfly. She makes me sick.

People tell me to get on with my life, to forgive everyone and forget the past. The past was cruel. I sacrificed too much and was unappreciated. I guess I'm grateful I never married again. At least I don't have any stepchildren to worry about, buy gifts for, and pay medical and dental bills for.

HENRY: You can't lie to a dog. A dog may come to accept someone, but it knows if there is something wrong with it and will let you know. Example: A friend of mine is connected to the music industry, and his business partner had a dog that typically rolled over for belly rubs upon meeting people, at least until it met Courtney Love at a party they were throwing, at which point the dog snarled at her and ran off to hide.

KYLE: My ex would often tell me she married me because she thought that no one else would ask her. She also said she married me because she thought I would make a lot of money. She was sneaky about things, trying to cheat, seeing a divorce attorney and manipulating me so that I filed for a divorce first. According to her, everything is my fault. Ten years later, she still sends me an occasional abusive email.

The sad part is that my son still believes her lies, so I rarely see him. He got married on Halloween, and I found out via Facebook. My daughter tries to stay out of the middle and says nothing. My son has a child who's almost a year old, and I've seen her once.

When it comes to relationships, do you trust your gut? Or do you listen to parts of your anatomy, lower or higher? How's that working for you? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not.