Q: I have a very lazy son who barely studies. His time shifts among the computer (chatting, games), writing lyrics for rap music, listening to music and watching TV. He's in high school, and I'm very afraid he'll have to repeat this year as a result of not studying enough.

I've tried to limit his above activities in order for him to use the time to study, but it is not working and only leads to heated arguments. Can you advise me as to how to approach this problem?

A: I'm not sure why you're arguing with your son, but it sounds as if he has more power than he should have. When a teen doesn't do his homework or study and fails classes, he should lose television and computer privileges until he completes his homework. He can gradually earn privileges as he shows responsibility and improves his grades. If you've lost so much control that he'll defy you and watch TV anyway, you can lock up the television sets by using plug locks or lock the family room that holds all the entertainment. My research on middle schoolers from my 2005 book, "Growing Up Too Fast," found that boys were spending five times the amount of time watching screens as they were doing homework, so at least you know your son isn't alone with this problem.

It becomes all too easy for your son to write off his problems as "laziness" if people describe him that way. If you can engage him in some work projects and praise him a few times for being a hard worker, he may gradually change his self-image to one of a "hard worker." I realize that isn't easy by high school, but teaching him to be a hard worker in one arena can often generalize to more perseverance in other areas.

I'm hoping that your son's dad is also actively encouraging his school achievement. Teenage boys often look to their fathers for expectations in regard to effort and interests. Father-son work projects can also help teens to work hard and build confidence.

It does sound as if you need some help in guiding your son and he would benefit from a full psycho-educational evaluation, so it might be best if you started by contacting his school psychologist or a private psychologist for that evaluation. It's possible that your son has some kind of disability and thus has lost confidence. In addition to getting your son some immediate help, I'd suggest you read my book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades." It may provide you with insight about his problem, as well.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.