Q: My daughter is a young first-grader and loves to learn. I always say she's very bright but lacks common sense. One of the biggest challenges I have with her is that as soon as she gets around her friends, she's a completely different child. She's out of control! She does things that she would not normally do, such as fake burp and talk about inappropriate topics like crusty underpants, booger-picking, etc. It's as if she hits a level, and I have no way of bringing her back to "normal." She says she's weird and crazy, which, in turn, drives me bonkers. I dread going anywhere where her friends will be outside of school because of the way she acts. Is it just me? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

A: Someone at school or home is laughing about her "craziness." You didn't mention an older or younger brother who could be teaching her tricks and getting her into trouble. A cousin or neighbor could also be a culprit. If no one in your home environment is trying to get her into trouble with you, do ask her teacher if she's hanging around with someone at school who is inspiring her silliness. She has to have learned the banalities from people she admires and respects.

Once you've identified the encourager, you can either talk to that person, if he or she is an adult and on home ground, or make it clear that the child in school is not an appropriate friend. If the problem person is at home, you and your husband will want to make it clear that the language and actions are crude and inappropriate. If it's at school, the teacher may be able to help you out by separating your daughter from the other child. Your daughter won't be the first 6-year-old using "bathroom talk or actions" to garner laughs. Boys are usually more outgoing about this kind of talk than girls, so I expect there's a boy somewhere at the root of this problem. She will need a clear boundary drawn when you find her using inappropriate language. Timeout in the bathroom often does the trick. It reminds her that she can use those words and sounds in privacy only.

While it's important not to overreact to what may only be a little acting out, if the suggestions I've made don't improve your daughter's behaviors, consider taking her to a counselor for an evaluation or some social skills therapy.

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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.