Q: My husband and I have heard you speak and have read your book, "How to Parent So Children Will Learn." We are hoping you could help us with our oldest son. He is a fifth-grader with a late July birthday and takes sixth-grade math and science classes at our local middle school. He is considered twice-exceptional (2e) with a very high visual spatial score, superior cognitive ability, but also suffers from dyslexia. His reading is improving through Orton Gillingham tutoring.

Our son requires certain accommodations as the result of his giftedness, reading problems and 2e issues, and the school system is not responding to his needs. The administration understands what he needs, but the teachers are not following through and do they understand his issues. Without these accommodations, our son becomes very upset and exhausted because, for example, he simply cannot read as fast as his peers.

Would you recommend giving him a "gap year" between elementary and middle school to enable him to catch up age-wise with his peers and to explore subjects in depth that interest him? During this time he could also be tutored in reading and writing. Thanks so much for any assistance you could provide.

A: Children with very uneven abilities typically provide a special challenge to parents and schools. Those with very high verbal and reading abilities and lower perceptual or spatial abilities typically struggle with advanced math, and so it does not seem to interfere with general school learning. On the other hand, those with average verbal abilities and/or reading disabilities and excellent spatial abilities typically struggle in all school subjects except for math. More than once I have heard from adults that they felt inadequate in school, although they became successful engineers or computer scientists.

Reading is crucial to all learning in school, and reading disabilities such as dyslexia can cause considerable school stress. In addition to tutoring, it might be good for your son to listen to recordings of his textbooks while reading them. That will enhance both his reading speed and other reading skills. Also, you may wish to check with a developmental optometrist about possible eye movement disorders, which can interfere with reading.

The fact that your son is already accelerated a year to 6th grade math and science classes suggests that a gap year could do him more harm than good. His problem does not appear to be related to immaturity, despite his young age. It seems more important to have an Individual Educational Plan in place for his reading disability and to continue the tutoring than to take the risk of retaining him or taking him out of school. The risk to his self-esteem and possible loss of peer acceptance can be very real.

Please understand that my column should not serve as final advice on your issue. You should be sure to have your son undergo a full psycho-educational evaluation and seek guidance by a psychologist who is familiar with both giftedness and learning disabilities to guide you through this difficult decision making.

For free newsletter/articles entitled Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, So Your Child Is Gifted!, and/or Learning Disabilities, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Paul O'Rear