Linking yourself to the community is the next step in widening your circle of connectedness. By joining a voluntary organization or international agency (whichever seems more important to you and seems to need you more), by manning a hotline for a battered women's shelter or by helping to organize an international fast day to raise awareness of world hunger, you're pouring goodwill out into the world community. Who knows how far that goodness will spread? Positive actions radiate far beyond their originator, you know. And the world could certainly use more love! Sharing yours makes you part of the sea of helpfulness around all of us.

And while you're helping, you're also defining yourself in ways that go far beyond marital status. Involved, you're not a single anything! You're a helper, reaching beyond your own community into the wider one in positive, generous ways. Who gives a hoot about your marital status when you're in the company of other good people for a common cause?! When you're part of goodness, what count are your solidity of character, follow-through, strength of purpose and loyalty of spirit. A far cry from singles dances, I'd say; actually, a world apart.

If volunteering is new to you, be ready for strong surges of self-esteem that come with a sharpened awareness of other people's needs. Be prepared to receive outpourings of sincere love and deep appreciation across the bridges that carry your caring. More than anything else I know, moving beyond personal concerns to work at bettering someone else's life is an unfailing solution to the absorption-with-navel syndrome that can creep into the life of someone living on his or her own. Your altruistic self may have gotten lost in the shuffle; you'll feel great about getting it back.

But hold on! I'm not suggesting you give up on people possibilities when you seriously enter the world of volunteerism. Far from it. Actually, there is a much richer mix of people in volunteerism these days, because it's no longer seen as "women's work." Many helping organizations recruit through larger businesses. (Hint: Ask whether your office is among them. If not, consider using your influence to get something going.) The most decent people I know make it a point to give back to their communities some of the energy and concern that have nurtured them. And some of the most successful friendships and marriages have sprung from the intense closeness that comes with working for a common cause.

By now, you're probably persuaded to give it a try, but seeing as you've never really done anything like this, you're not sure how to begin. Of course, you're getting used to this column's style of self-inquiry before action, so let's stay with it. That self-inquiry is coming in next week's column.

DEAR READERS: We've uncovered a treasure-trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, ready to read. Send $15 and your address to: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. I'll send you a signed copy.

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