DEAR SUSAN: Even if we accept that many or most of those who are "single" are in a relationship, the concept of undependence applies to them as well. The disease of codependence or love addiction can affect anyone who has grown up with an inner wounded child. That's because one's parents don't have to be abusive, only neglectful and emotionally inaccessible, to cause emotional disturbance. So people in marriages may also struggle with undependence. The point is that people may need to become undependent of siblings, children or parents. In other words, your Declaration of Undependence applies to a very broad audience, regardless of anyone's relationship status. Thanks, Susan. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: (Sigh.) Oh, to be misunderstood, to be skewered on your very own blog! How bad can things get?! Until, that is, some wondrous sage comes along and bucks the tide with reasoned discourse. (Thank you, dear reader, a zillion times over.) The term "undependence" is a synonym for the wholeness anyone can attain. Carefully thought-out, it is neither solitary nor self-absorbed. An undependent person comes across as self-sufficient, capable, confident — the description of someone who meets the challenge of carving out a life on his or her own. All of us will experience aloneness at some point during our lifetime, so it is best to know one's capability to handle that occurrence. (The Buddha advises us in all situations to rely on ourselves, not on someone else.) Ergo, it makes great good sense to strengthen oneself in any and every way — at any age. Think about it.

DEAR SUSAN: I'm reading your questionnaire for the never-married and wondering why you ask them the reason they haven't married. Why is there still the assumption that everyone wants to marry? (You wouldn't be asking if you didn't assume it.) The question makes about as much sense as asking why they never moved to Paris. If you think everyone should move to Paris, then and only then does it make sense to ask the question. Hey, Susan, how come you never moved to Paris? — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Because French food has a tendency to sour my stomach — but not nearly so much as readers with an attitude. Hey, friend, the human psyche has a distinctive tendency to want someone to love. Whether the relationship is eventually formalized by a ceremony depends on many factors. But the fact is that at any given time, 95 percent of our population is married. And among the other couplings are paired partners who for some reason prefer to maintain their singleness while coupled. What you may have missed — in your rush to leave for Paris — is that the question that riled you so was part of my nationwide survey of single sexuality. And it drew one of the largest responses of the queries — because, I like to think, it pushed the old buttons and prodded people to think. Questions? (En francais, of course.)

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com.

Photo credit: Pietro Tranchida