DEAR SUSAN: Noteworthy in your recent column about cougars is your courage to tell it like it is, through interesting comments and poignant questions. "Motives are always elusive," you comment. Our own motives, yes. And others' motives, even more so. Perhaps the delicacy of our needs is so repulsive to some that they must cover them with false bravado. And you ask how closely sex and violence are related. Well, from what I read, the number of people seeking to receive or give abuse in "casual encounters" is mind-blowing. The violence in pornography is a stark reminder of the closeness between the two.

But getting back to your important column, as a young man, I often thought of having an older woman "show me the way." Being her prey never entered my mind. We Americans seem to be a rather confused bunch when it comes to sex, including me. So I greatly respect your open approach to the subject. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: We are rather muddled about the issue, ashamed of our body and its needs. But remember that in world history, we're infants, newcomers to the eons-old countries of Europe and Asia. We didn't exist in the heady days of the Silk Road; we were only a glimmer of an idea in the minds of newcomers to this new land. Remember that indignation was our birthing. Looking back, our progress in many aspects of civilization is amazing. But our Pilgrim forebears have passed along attitudes and judgments connected with our bodily needs that are laden with guilt and misinformation. The result is what we have today: a mishmash of confusion, scant information and vestigial guilt for sins not committed. If I have my druthers, someday soon our educational system will bite the bullet and go out on a limb with classes on basic sexuality. Even in our educational system, uptight educators still are reluctant to dip a toe into the raging waters of sexuality. Not I.

DEAR SUSAN: I'm not married, and I don't have any kids. I have a good job and a good family. Friends keep telling me, though, to make a will. You're up on single life. Please give me some reasons a will is important to me, someone who's 27 years old and single and carefree. Get me interested in what happens after I'm gone. — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: OK, let's get to it. At age 27, with a good job and seemingly no baggage, it's not so clear whom you'd want to inherit from you. (Married with children is obviously different, making decisions that much clearer about who gets what.) Wills crystallize your wishes; where there is confusion or conflict about an issue, the will governs. And with today's technology, there is ownership even in cyberspace — trademarks, domain names, websites. (Bet you never thought of them as property!) Any of those require you to choose an inheritor. You can always change the name, but it is far better to make a choice now than not to make one.

Come to think of it, I bet you have a safe-deposit box, a checking account and a savings account. Each one requires an inheritor. (Ahem.) Thought you could get off the legal hook, eh? Not a chance. Be a wise man and start thinking now about your worldly possessions and whom you'd like to inherit them. You could start writing your will today, an informal first draft. Best use a pencil for possible changes. And phone your attorney tomorrow about your decision to make a will.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com.

Photo credit: Jeremy Segrott