Dear John: My husband is the type of person who loves to tease people, especially me. Some of the things he teases me about really hurt my feelings and make me feel unloved and insecure about our relationship. He teases me in a variety of ways about divorce, having "girlfriends," acting like he is single and much more! He also teases me about these things in front of family and friends. What would be the most appropriate way to handle this? What should I say or do to have him stop teasing me like this? — Over It, in Gary, Ind.

Dear Over It: There are times that Martian bravado can cross the line between good clean fun and simple abuse. It's hard to say what side of that line your husband is on.

It's not unusual for males to engage in verbal roughhousing with the woman they are most comfortable with. In other words, you become one of the guys sharing some good-natured ribbing after a game of racquetball. While many women would prefer not to be placed in that category, some are pleased their guys feel so comfortable around them. On the other hand, you need to set your boundaries and make him aware those limits exist.

Getting this message across can best be done in a nonconfrontational way. Don't explain yourself at a time of anger, or the focus will only be on your anger. Rather, at a time when you can approach him in a direct, conversational manner, let him know that while you enjoy his humor, there are certain comments he makes that cause you discomfort, and that you want this to stop. Don't be surprised if you have to give him gentle reminders, but I assure you that, if his agenda is to be loving and not abusive, he will get this message and you will see him change for the better.

Dear John: I have been dating "Sid" for six months now. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He has been divorced for eight years. His 19-year-old daughter, however, will not accept anyone he has dated, and Sid just broke up with me because of her. She had stopped visiting him when she was home from school because of me. She has never met me, but still doesn't like me. It could be anyone, not just me. He thinks his relationship with his daughter would be better if he just didn't get involved with anyone. I don't think she should control his life like this. I know we want our kids to be happy, but I think we should think of ourselves, as well. — Kicked to the Curb, in Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Kicked to the Curb: You are right in your assessment that your boyfriend's fear of losing his daughter is greater than any other desire he has right now, including his desire to be with you. Many children of all ages find it hard to accept the demise of their parents' marriage. This case is particularly sad because enough time has passed since the divorce, and his daughter is certainly of an age where she should be able to accept his need to get on with the rest of his life. If she truly wants what is best for him, she should acknowledge this need and wish him her best in finding happiness.

You know this and I know this, but the one that has to realize this is your boyfriend. Right now, he has decided not to test her with ultimatums. Until he wakes up to the fact that her action and his reaction won't fix things, he'll miss out at another chance for love. Still, that does not mean that you have to hang in there. Instead, get on with your own life and hope a day will come when he realizes he should do the same.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.