Dear John: Does what goes around really come around? I've been dumped hard several times! I'm beginning to believe that there is no justice in the dating game. Do women who dump nice guys really get their due later on? — Kicked to the Curb, in Cleveland, Ohio

Dear Kicked: Sure they do, because they miss out on having a relationship with a really nice guy. But that's not your true concern. You've been hurt by past breakups and are feeling disappointment. Instead of wishing for some form of karmic revenge, try some new relationship rules. For example, take your time. Date often and give any new relationship time and space to develop. In other words, don't assume a new relationship is further along than it might be.

Believe it or not, no woman walks down the aisle thinking, "What a nasty guy I've chosen for a life partner." She wants to be with a nice guy who treats her well and knows how to give as well as receive. If you indeed are a kind and considerate person, this will soon be evident to the right woman.

Dear John: My wife has asked for 10 minutes a day of intimate conversation. When I asked her what she meant, she says she wants me to talk with her on a deeper level than I would talk with someone at work. I want to do this, but I don't know where to start. I don't want to be phony, and I can't get her to give me an example of what she wants to talk about. — Quiet Type, in Baton Rouge, La.

Dear Quiet Type: There must be dozens of things you've never considered asking your wife, but always wanted to know. Well, she's given you an open invitation to do so. Perhaps you've always wanted to know her favorite color and why she likes that one out of a rainbow of choices. Perhaps you'll want to ask her about an irrational fear, or divulge one of your own.

Then again, you might want to ask her about her favorite book or movie, or where she would travel if she had the chance. Listen carefully to her answer and don't be afraid to open up with a secret of your own. Intimacy involves more than the five senses. It also depends on a creative mind and an open heart. By opening yours to her, these 10 minutes may grow by hours and even days. Better yet, it will become the precursor to a lifetime of romantic thoughts, words and deeds.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email at: www.marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.