Thinking about getting a new job? It certainly seems like the right time to start sending off resumes.

According to recruiter Jack Kelly, "It's been widely reported there are more than 11 million jobs available."

This is a good news/bad news situation. The good news is that with 11 million jobs available, surely there is one for you. The bad news is that you'll be rejected 10,999,999 times before you find it.

But are there really 11 million jobs available?

Not according to Kelly, who recently enlivened Forbes.com with a treatise titled, "How You Are Being Misled About the Job Market."

It's fake jobs that are the problem. "The system is corrupted," Kelly writes. "For years, companies have placed fake jobs online. The job description is real and so is the company, and this doesn't mean it's a scam. Firms list jobs that they have no intention of filling."

The proliferation of fake jobs should come as no surprise to you. How often have you wondered if the job you have is fake? After all, the possibilities for advancement are slim and the consequences for failure are miniscule.

Sounds like a fake job to me, and you're darn lucky to have it. But why would a company advertise phantom jobs? For all sorts of devious reasons. Read on! You'll be informed, but you won't be surprised.

No. 1: Building a pipeline

A company may not have a need for someone now, but they anticipate a need in the future. For example, your high-flying CEO may figure that if the company doesn't go belly up, as everyone expects, they will need a superyacht and a crew to run it. Unlikely? Why do you think your manager calls you "matey"?

No. 2: Pacifying the workforce

With so many workers quietly quitting, remaining employees have been forced to pick up the slack. (Not you, of course — you are the slack.) By posting jobs in every nook and cranny of the internet, management can appease the overworked remainders with the promise that they are actively looking to hire replacements. Of course, management has no intention of hiring anyone, since the money they save can be used for more constructive purposes, like vampire facials for the HR department and Evian baths in the executive spa.

No. 3: Creating an appearance

"When there are layoffs or a tough economic climate," Jack Kelly writes, "some businesses will post jobs to create the appearance that the company is doing well and growing."

If it isn't difficult for you to imagine your current employer stooping to this level of sneaky behavior, use caution when you see a job posted from what looks to be a fabulously successful company. The last thing you want to do is risk losing your current fake job by applying for another fake job at the loser company where you currently work.

No. 4: Forgetting to remember

Not everyone has a perfect memory like you. Sometimes, companies will forget to remove a job listing after the position has been filled. This could explain why you may see your precise job at your specific company advertised. It could be that your manager simply forgot to remove the listing for your position once you were hired, or it could mean they plan to fire you the minute they can find someone sufficiently desperate to take your job. If this is the case, I wouldn't worry. That person doesn't exist.

No. 5: Putting lipstick on a pig

Even if there are really 11 million jobs available, not all of them are positions anyone wants.

"Many are in sectors people want out of," Kelly explains, "such as restaurants, bars, warehouse and fulfillment centers and dead-end gigs or contracts."

This is more good news if "dead-end gig" seems a little too close to your current job description. To improve your career situation, all you have to do is answer an ad for a fry chef in a diner or a worker in a fulfillment center, or, best of all, a fry chef in a fulfillment center. Those robots working 24/7 in warehouses across the country can't be any happier than the humans they've replaced. They need french fries, too.

Finally, if you do answer an ad for a new fake job and find yourself being ignored or rejected, remember that you shouldn't blame yourself. Keep answering ads and sending in resumes. Sooner or later, some devious employer will hire you for a fake position.

It's exactly what they deserve.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplansning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: athree23 at Pixabay