DR. WALLACE: I'm the stepmother of a young man who is less than two months from turning 21. Upon his graduation from high school, he tried one semester of junior college, but he dropped out after only three or four weeks. He obtained an infrequent part-time job on and off for about a year. Then he lost all interest in working as well. So for nearly the last two years, he's just been sleeping in late, staying out late and sponging a few dollars off of my husband to enable his social life.

My husband has known for some time that I'm not happy with this arrangement, but as we approach the holidays and a new year, I told him it's time we speak seriously and firmly to our son about this issue. I feel he should be doing something with his life, as well as paying us rent if he wants to stay under our roof. To my surprise, my husband agreed but told me that I should be the one to tell him whatever I wanted to say.

Should I follow through with this opportunity to finally engage our lazy son, or would I be risking too much family strife to say anything if my husband won't? — A Frustrated Stepmother, by email

A FRUSTRATED STEPMOTHER: In my opinion, your husband is unfortunately avoiding his parental responsibilities here. However, the good news for you is that he's indicated that he knows his son is in the wrong and he's open to having him forced to endure a frank conversation.

Instead of trying to convince your husband to be the one to talk to him, simply take your husband up on his offer. But before you have the conversation with your stepson, be sure that your husband agrees with exactly what you're going to say to your son, and make sure he will back you up and hold your son to everything he's been told by you.

Assuming your husband will agree with you, simply tell your stepson that you'll give him the month of January to get his act together, and that starting on Feb. 1, he'll need to either begin paying rent or move out of the house. He may go to his father behind your back, but if your husband backs you up, you will have accomplished your goal, and your son will have to make a big decision one way or another.

IS MY STEADY WEIGHT GAIN AGE-RELATED?

DR. WALLACE: I'm a woman in my early 20s, and for the last couple of years, I've noticed that I steadily gain weight each winter, but I don't gain any weight the rest of the year. When the next winter comes, I add more weight again on top of what I had gained the previous winter, and the cycle appears to be continuing this winter.

Do you think this is because I'm starting to age, and as I do, my body is changing somewhat? — My Weight Gain Is Unwelcome but Sticky, via email

MY WEIGHT GAIN IS UNWELCOME BUT STICKY: At your age, I highly doubt the cycle of weight gain you're describing has anything to do with age. It is more being caused by a continuous cycle of eating more calories in the winter and putting your body through less physical activity. The result is the "sticky" weight gain you've experienced.

Start by thinking carefully about your eating habits and exercise habits in the spring and summer. Are you more active at other times of year? Do you hike more, walk more, exercise more and eat less?

If so, your solution may be to monitor your calorie intake and find activities to keep your body moving during the winter. That could include bundling up to take brisk walks outside every day, plus visiting an indoor gym or using an indoor swimming pool several times a week.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Sébastien Mouilleau at Unsplash