DR. WALLACE: I'm one friend in a loose group of eight high school friends. We're all female, and some of us within the group are best friends with each other, but most of us are simply very good friends with all seven of the other girls, even though we don't have one best friend, or BFF, as the current lingo delineates.

Over the past two weeks I've noticed what I feel is a change for the worse in one of the girls. She's far more sullen than she ever was. She doesn't talk much within the group anymore. Sadly, she seems moody and distant.

I'm worried about her, but don't know what to do. I don't want to pry into her life or what's going on with her, but I don't want to ignore the ominous signals she's involuntarily sending out either.

I want to approach her about this but am wondering if it would be better to do so on my own, or if I should see if the rest of the group is open to speaking with her all at once. What do you think about this? — One of Her Seven Best Friends, via email

ONE OF HER SEVEN BEST FRIENDS: I suggest that you seek to speak with the other six members of your group of friends when she is not present. Ideally, you could do this all at once, but you may have to have this conversation in segments to explain your concern to all the others.

From there, they can more closely observe her, and this will allow all of you to confer together to see if others are able to notice what you've seen and felt. It's great that there are so many of you who are all good friends together. This will give your "groupthink" an opportunity to pay close attention to her. If others agree with you, then the seven of you can all speak to her together in the near future at a group event.

It's much more likely that she will react better to the group, at least in terms of lashing out, if she may be prone to that. Hopefully she will understand that the group loves her and is looking out for her. This is the key. Start from the position of caring for her and doing for her what she would naturally do for any one of the rest of you if she were to notice a change in behavior.

Be sure to stress to your group that this would be a delicate endeavor, and one that should be conducted in the most nonjudgmental way possible. Rather, aim for it to be an offer to help if needed, or a collective group shoulder to lean on if she finds herself in a time of need.

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE THIS MANY OFFERS!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 15 1/2 years old, and that is the magic age my parents set for me to start dating. I was nervous before this day, and especially over the past two months because I did not think that anyone would ask me out on a date anyhow.

I do have two really close girlfriends, and they apparently must have been mentioning that I'd soon be old enough to date, because on the first day of school that I was old enough, I got two offers to go out on a date! Then the very next week, three different boys also asked me out on a date.

Now I don't know what to do. I can only date on the weekends anyhow, so I have not yet gone out with anybody. How do I select just one out of these five guys? They all have some good qualities, and each one asked me in a very nice and comfortable way. Help! — More Offers Than I Ever Imagined, via email

MORE OFFERS THAN I EVER IMAGINED: At your age you should strive to simply acquire dating experience and to learn how others interact with you.

I don't see any reason why you can't go on dates with each of them over the next few months. Just ask each one what type of date is being suggested. By this I'm referring to where you would go, what you would do and so forth. A date could be to see a movie, go to a fast-food restaurant and eat lunch together on a Saturday afternoon, or to go on a hike or bicycle ride together.

Select your first date by considering what activities are being suggested, and go with one you feel you'd enjoy the most. Then repeat this process until you've given each guy a chance to get to know you.

I'd also recommend that you tell each guy you are simply looking to make new friends and enjoy a few fun dates to start with, but that you are not looking for a committed relationship right away. I feel you would be best served by meeting a variety of personalities on your dates and having fun trying out various wholesome, safe activities as you build up your dating experience.

Consider yourself lucky! Having five offers could be a good thing for you in the long run and should help to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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