DR. WALLACE: I'm a 15-year-old girl and my mom is a great cook. I've always had an average weight for my age, but within the last six months I've noticed that I'm starting to gain a little unwanted weight. This has caused me to do some research and reading on healthy food, nutrition, calories and all the other things that affect people's weight.
My mom's cooking is indeed a bit fattening, but she does at least balance most meals with salads and vegetables, so it's certainly not all fattening. But I think my main problem is that my mother has a habit of building each family member's plates in the kitchen before she places the plates on the table. Then if anyone wants seconds of a particular item later, she'll return to the kitchen with the pan containing that item, and she'll refill the item as per the request. Mom likes this method as it keeps our table uncluttered, cleaner and better looking. It kind of feels like we are eating in a restaurant each night, and I mean that as a good thing.
But mom's starter portions have too many calories for me, and her rule has always been that we must clean our plates! So, I feel obligated to eat everything on the plate, and even if I don't ask for more, I've already consumed a lot of calories for my small body type. I don't want to hurt mom's feelings, but I feel stuck eating everything even if it does all taste great! — Too Much Food for a Petite Girl, via email
TOO MUCH FOOD FOR A PETITE GIRL: I agree with you on this issue as it exists in your home. Yes, your mother can expect your family to clean each plate, but it makes sense to adjust the portion size of any family member who wishes to do so.
I suggest you offer to assist your mother in the kitchen before a few of your next meals. Tell her that since she's such a great cook, you would like to learn a few of her techniques and cooking secrets so that you can grow up to be a good cook as well. While you're doing this, you can have an open discussion with her about decreasing your portion sizes. Be honest and tell her that you have been gaining a bit of weight lately and that you'd like to adjust your calorie intake, but still take full advantage of all the wonderful dishes that she prepares.
I'M A GOOD STUDENT, WITH ONE EXCEPTION
DR. WALLACE: I'm a good student at school and I get good grades. I pay attention in class, I study hard and I do well. But there's this one area that I've always really struggled in, and I'm going to be facing it again the first week of January: I have to give an oral report in front of the class. Each student is assigned to recap what our class studied and learned in the first half of the year, and we are expected to give a full five-minute speech on our assigned topic.
I always get so nervous, and I tend to stammer and hesitate sometimes when I'm reading my report to the class. I also tend to fidget. Will I always be a nervous speaker or is there anything I can do to calm myself down? —- Not Good at Giving Speeches, via email
NOT GOOD AT GIVING SPEECHES: My first bit of advice is practice so much that you know your material quite well. In fact, know it so well that you can easily talk about it "off the cuff," which is to say that you could talk about the topic spontaneously. Once you practice and study enough to reach this level of mastery of your subject matter, do not write out your speech. That's correct: I am advising you to not write out a word-for-word speech to be read to your class!
Instead, break your topic down into a handful of topics or points, and then be able to speak logically on each point for about a minute or so. If you can come up with four to five points, you'll have enough content to give a five-minute speech if you allow a bit of time also for a brief introduction and a summary at the end. For each point, just write out a phrase on a notecard and nothing more. This phrase gives you the topic or subject matter, and from there you go on to speak spontaneously as if you were explaining the information to a good friend of yours.
This takes practice but is well worth the time! Once you can learn to speak openly, casually and in a knowledgeable way only by using phrases on notecards, your level of confidence will soar! Think for example about a major hobby or interest that you currently have in your life, and imagine you'll have to give a five-minute speech about that hobby. You could easily write out five phrases on five notecards and with a little bit of practice, you could speak well about the subject. Try to do the same for formal speeches you must make, especially those in school.
One final tip is to pace yourself, take your time and even toss in a funny line somewhere in your speech just to lighten the mood for your audience and yourself for a moment along the way. Good luck!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Anestiev at Pixabay
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