DR. WALLACE: I've been hiding a secret from you and from many other people as well. Over the years, I've read some of your columns on the topic of bulimia, but I never found the strength to write to you about my situation before.

I'm a good student in school, and I have good comprehension, so it should come as no surprise to you to know that I have done extensive reading about bulimia on the internet. You would think that since I know what is going on and how harmful it is to my body that I would have stepped forward and attempted to address my situation long ago.

Like many other young women, I take pride in my looks and I want to be an appropriate slim weight, so I've engaged in these behaviors in order to achieve what I feel is my perfect body image.

Recently, I'm starting to realize that I do indeed have a serious problem, one that I probably can't take care of by myself. It's very depressing to think about being trapped in the situation I find myself in.

My usual week includes me eating very sparsely for up to five or six days in a row, and then I'll gorge myself for the next day or two. I'm very careful when I gorge myself, and I do so out of the view of everyone in my life. It's my personal shameful secret. I haven't told anyone about this situation — not my mother nor my best two friends.

I think I'm finally getting brave enough to take some appropriate actions. After all, I have finally broken down and written a letter to you. What do you feel my appropriate next step should be? — I Know I Need Help, via email

I KNOW I NEED HELP: First of all, I commend you for reaching out and realizing that you do indeed need professional assistance with your situation. It is nearly impossible for anyone to break the patterns and cycles that you've described by themselves.

The key person you should reach out to is your mother. She no doubt loves you dearly and would do anything to help you in your life. Think of it this way: If you had a bad accident or a quick and ominous infection, she would do everything in her power to get you the appropriate medical attention immediately. Well, your situation also now requires immediate attention, so come clean with her and let her help you receive the professional care and guidance your mind and body require at this time.

There are many medical and mental health professionals who can assist you, and I trust that you may have even noticed a few local ones during your various internet searches on the topic of bulimia. Have your mother make the initial contact, and do all you can to help yourself by remaining proactive from now on. Congratulations on taking this first key step by telling another person about your situation. Now build upon that good decision by sitting down with your mother to enlist her help and guidance as well. Trust me, this is absolutely the right thing to do. Bulimia is nothing to be ignored, as your long-term health and even your life may be in jeopardy if you continue to keep your secret and continue your ongoing behavior.

THIS BOY IS OUT OF CONTROL

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 13 and a pretty good student. I get good grades and I'm serious about my education. I like my teacher, but there's something that I don't like also. This teacher makes us sit in assigned seats, and he uses alphabetical order. This means every student sits in the very same seat every day of the school year.

My problem is that there's a boy who sits behind me in class who is always bothering me. Sometimes he will lean over and mumble into my ear weird and stupid things. Other times he tries to pull my hair or even pull the ribbons out of my hair on the days that I wear ribbons in my hair.

And whenever we have a test, he is always dropping his pencil on the floor so he can lean over as he picks it up and tries to look at my answers.

I've told the teacher about this problem, but the teacher refuses to change my seat assignment. Is there anything else I can do about this? — Upset Student, via email

UPSET STUDENT: Yes, there is. You've taken the right first step, which is to notify your teacher directly yourself. Unfortunately, he did not take your concerns too seriously, so your problem persists. Now I'll advise you to speak with your parents about this matter.

Have your parents meet with your teacher and explain exactly what the problems are and why they're concerned, and ask for one of three options that could remedy the situation. First, your teacher could allow you to move to another seat in the class. Second, your teacher could move this boy to another seat in the class, perhaps one closer to the front of the room so that the teacher can keep a good eye on him. The third option would be for your teacher to speak with the boy at length to tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and that if he persists in this behavior, he will be suspended from the classroom for a period of time.

Once your parents meet with your teacher, hopefully a suitable remedy can be achieved. If for some reason you do not see positive changes, then it would be time for your parents to contact the school principal and explain the situation in detail, including all of the steps you and your parents took first before elevating the matter to the attention of the principal.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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