DR. WALLACE: Holiday gift season is arriving very soon! I love this time of year but there is one thing that I wish I could change. It's about the gifts I receive, especially from adults like my parents and other close family relatives.

Normally they give me excellent, generous gifts of all kinds. All of their gifts are very thoughtful and are indeed excellent, with the exception of one category: clothing! It never fails that if I receive a gift from my parents or an adult relative, the odds of them buying me anything I would actually wear are less than 10%.

I'd like to suggest this year that if they're thinking of buying me clothing, they simply give me cash instead. What do you think of this? I don't want to ruffle everybody's feathers over this matter, but it really becomes a pain trying to return all the clothing, get a store credit and then try to buy another more suitable item for myself.

I don't at all want to appear to be ungrateful in any way. I am extremely grateful to my family and friends and all the wonderful gifts and thoughtfulness they bestow upon me. But now I'm hoping you can help me find a tactful way I can request cash in an envelope or in a holiday card with a note. — I Always Have to Return the Clothing, via email

I ALWAYS HAVE TO RETURN THE CLOTHING: I have a slightly different idea for you rather than simply requesting cash in an envelope. At times cash can feel cold and less thoughtful from the perspective of the gift-giver, even though that's exactly what you'd prefer.

So, I'll suggest a slight change to that idea by advising you to make a request to your parents and these other adults to receive clothing store gift cards instead. Think about the top two or three stores you prefer to do your clothes shopping in, and then give that store list to your family members.

You can also tell your parents they are welcome to go on the shopping trip with you after you've received the card so that they can see exactly what you do with it and what your style tastes are actually like. This same methodology can be extended to your other family members as well. They may or may not wish to actually go on the shopping trip with you, but once you do make your purchases you can at least email or text them photographs of the actual gifts they bought for you!

MY MOTHER DOES NOT LIKE HIS FAMILY, SO SHE IGNORES HIM

DR. WALLACE: My mom is not happy about my current boyfriend because he comes from a broken home and his parents have issues that are well known in our community. My boyfriend is nothing like his parents at all and is in fact a good student and a top athlete at our school.

What's strange is that my parents usually see things the same way, but even though my mom is down on my guy, my father actually likes him! It's not unusual for my dad to talk one-on-one with him for 15 minutes sometimes when I'm up in my room still getting ready to go out, but my mom will hide in the kitchen and avoid him. In fact, she tries not to speak to him at all.

I think part of the reason my dad likes him is that he's a good athlete and my father has read about him in our local papers. The two of them talk all about sports in general, not just our school teams. So, my question is, how can I get my mom to engage my boyfriend in conversation? It's embarrassing for me that she hides from him every single time he comes over to our house. — Daughter of a Hiding Mom, via email

DAUGHTER OF A HIDING MOM: It will likely take time for your mother to settle in and see that your guy is nothing at all like his parents. Start by speaking alone with your father one-on-one sometime. Tell him you'd appreciate it if your mother would at least briefly smile and say hello to your boyfriend even if she does not yet feel comfortable with a longer conversation. Also thank your father for being so open and welcoming to your boyfriend in your home.

The longer you two are a couple, the more likely it is that your mother's poor manners will eventually thaw, and she will at least slowly engage him. Keep this topic at hand with your father when you can in the meantime. It would be great if he could arrange a weekend lunch sometime at a local restaurant so that your mother can slowly start participating in the conversations.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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