DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and the mother of a daughter who is almost 2 years old. I had an old flame back in high school, but I lost touch with him over the past few years and then I had my child via another employee of the company I work at. This guy recently quit working at our company, and he moved out of state without even saying goodbye to me.

I knew all along he was not likely going to want to be an involved father, but I'll admit it was a shock when he just took off without saying a word to me.

Anyhow, my old flame now wants to rekindle our relationship. He's already said he wants to move in with me right away and set a date for our wedding next spring. He also said he wants to adopt my daughter.

I haven't seen this guy for over two years and the first thing I noticed was that he had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath. He's also 20 so he's not yet even at the legal drinking age in the eyes of the law.

I asked him about this, and he admitted that he feels he might have a bit of a drinking problem, but he said that if he moved in with me it would make him be more responsible in several areas of his life.

I do still like him, but my flame for him now is muted by this issue plus the fact he seems to want to shack up with me right away. What do you think about his offer? — Unsure About This, via email

UNSURE ABOUT THIS: Since you haven't seen him for over two years, you have no idea what his daily routines are, or how deep or shallow his drinking problem may be. Therefore, in my opinion it would be unwise to make immediate plans with him at this time. There really is no need to rush anything, and if you want to see him socially very carefully on a gradual basis, you'll soon learn a lot more about his status.

Don't rush into living with him currently! You owe it to your daughter to keep her safe and sound. This guy must earn your trust now as he is and not simply lean on the distant past you shared.

Tell him that you are not going to live together at this time nor are you going to accept a wedding proposal, especially since the two of you have not spent any recent time together. Also, both of your situations have changed since those days, so it would be prudent for you to only allow him a bit of time with you at first to see how things go. If he persists in rushing you, that's a red flag that you should not ignore.

WE'RE NOT 'NUTS!'

DR. WALLACE: My grandfather keeps telling my friends and me that he thinks today's teenagers are all "nuts!" He says we focus on the wrong things, and we spend too much of our time on our cellphones.

How can I get him to chill out and realize that today's world is nothing like the world he grew up in when he was a teenager? — A Modern Teen, via email

A MODERN TEEN: I don't often receive letters from grandparents, but the few I do receive usually point out the vast differences between today's teenagers and the grandparents' generation when they were teenagers back in their day.

I doubt that your grandfather is going to "chill out" with his opinions, but one thing you can do is interact with him in as symbiotic a way as possible. Take the time to ask him about what it was like for him growing up. I'll bet he has some great stories!

Then also take the time to show him a few new modern things. Show him just a few of the interesting things today's social media provides, but don't overwhelm him. Just explain that you can use today's technology to keep in close touch with your friends and that you can do great research on the internet to learn many interesting things and help with your schoolwork.

Explain to him that just as transportation evolved from the horse and buggy era to the widespread use of trains to today's modern airplanes and the prevalence of ride-hailing services like Lyft and Uber, technology has followed a similar path forward. Tell him that the world always keeps evolving and that you find it quite interesting to compare your current life as a teenager with the one he lived long ago.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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