DR. WALLACE: I'm always comparing myself to my two older sisters who are both beautiful, intelligent and successful at school and in life. I feel just fine when I compare myself to other girls in my class at high school. But when I compare myself to my two older sisters, I feel I never seem to be even close to measuring up.

I'm 17 and our family's oldest and middle girls are 21 and 20, respectively.

How can I find a way to reach the heights that my sisters seem to reach effortlessly? I'd really like to stop thinking about them, but over the holidays when they come home from college, they will dominate our family discussions and all my older relatives will fawn over them. What can I do about this situation? — The Youngest and Often Overlooked Sister, via email

THE YOUNGEST AND OFTEN OVERLOOKED SISTER: Focus on your own strengths, not theirs. Remember that the only true comparison you need to be concerned with is how you are conducting your life and becoming the best version of yourself.

You already mentioned that you compare favorably to the other girls in your high school class, and that's a much more objective comparison anyway as those girls are your own age right now. It could well be that by the time you're 20 and then 21 years old, you'll be every bit as successful in your own right as your sisters are in theirs.

MY MOM IS MEAN SOMETIMES!

DR. WALLACE: I think I'm a nice kind kid, but my favorite aunt regularly treats me better than my own mother does. I am an only child, and my mom is a single parent who is a busy lady as she works two jobs.

I'm a good student and I don't get into any trouble at school, yet my mother never seems to notice this, much less give me any praise or encouragement. However, if my room needs a small amount of tidying, she will sharply criticize me and tell me not to be so messy.

It feels as though she ignores the good things I do and simply must point out every negative thing that she can possibly muster to make me feel bad. Why is this and what can I do about it? Sometimes when I think about this a lot, I get sad and a little bit depressed — Depressed Daughter, via email

DEPRESSED DAUGHTER: Being a single mom can be difficult with a lot of pressures for a lady like your mother. I feel this does earn your mom a bit of a break, as she's apparently working very hard to make ends meet and keep your household running financially.

However, this pressure does not give your mother an implied right to be cold and scolding to you on a regular basis. It could also be that your mother just reacts with her words in the moment and that she truly does not realize how much these small bits of criticism hurt you.

I suggest you find a quiet time on a weekend or late afternoon when your mother is not working and strike up a conversation with her. Perhaps you could prepare or buy her a small amount of one of her favorite snacks or treats she enjoys. Take the time to tell her first how proud you are of her for working so hard to provide for you and your home. Give her a hug and be sure to tell her how much you love her.

Then, after you have had something like the above conversation, tell her that you want her to feel proud of you. Ask her what you can do to gain her approval, then smile gently and stay silent. Perhaps your mother will then realize how you've been feeling, and she may react positively toward you.

If her reaction is heartwarming for the two of you, you'll both be on the way to a closer, more mutually appreciative relationship. And even if her reply were to come up a tad short of your expectations, you'll have cleared the air a bit and will have provided yourself the opportunity to get your thoughts off your chest and into her ears. Sometimes in life there's value in diplomatically saying out loud things that have been held inside for some time. The relief can be cathartic and help a person to let go of animosity and reset an attitude that was in need of relief.

Finally, if you've tried the above and still wish to seek another avenue to reach your mother more effectively, then tell your favorite aunt what has transpired and explain the steps you've tried as outlined above. From there, she may be able to help you further in her own way.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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