DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and a very independent young woman. I'm the type who will ask a guy to go out on a date. I believe strongly that women and men are equal, and when I'm 18, I will join the National Organization for Women and be an active, outspoken member.

Two weeks ago, I invited a young man to go to a movie with me, and he agreed. I picked him up, but when we got to the theater, he wanted to pay for the movie tickets. I said that since I invited him, it was up to me to pay. He refused my offer and got in line to buy the tickets, but I told him that I wasn't going into the theater if he paid.

He did pay, and I then told him I wasn't going into the theater. He thought I was kidding, but I wasn't. Once he realized I really would not go in, he got a really frustrated look on his face. He then proceeded to tear up the tickets, and he called a friend to pick him up. Neither one of us saw that movie. So, that's the story of my failed date with this headstrong guy.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. If this scenario were to play out again, I'd still refuse to enter the theater with a guy who forced his payment over my wishes to pay. Do you agree that since I asked for the date, I should get to pay for the date? — Liberated Teen, Mountain View, California

LIBERATED TEEN: You and your date should agree that if you do the asking, you will do the paying, and if the first date goes well, your date can ask you out and pay for the second date. Negotiate all of this in advance of the first date, and you should have no problems going forward. I must commend you for taking your dating to another level at the tender age of 17; I can't tell you how many thousands of letters I've received from teens over the decades just asking advice on how to get one date — no matter who pays!

Since your last date insisted on paying for the movie tickets, you could have elected to roll with it and tried to have an enjoyable time watching the movie. You could have then played the "I'll pay on the second date" card and made that a condition of him going on a second date with you. His reaction was over-the-top — but yours was, too, in my opinion.

PARENTS SHOULD FOOT INSURANCE BILL

DR. WALLACE: Last Saturday, a couple of my friends and I were playing basketball in the driveway of her friend's house. The games always get a little rough, and unfortunately, this time I broke my left arm when I fell to the cement while trying to rebound a missed shot. Actually, the bone in my arm was just cracked, not broken all the way through, but I do have a cast on my arm now to protect it.

My medical expenses were $800. I'm only 16, but I have more than $1,000 saved in the bank from my part-time summer jobs. My parents don't have very good medical insurance on me because they're self-employed, so they feel that I should pay the bills since it was my fault I got hurt. I don't feel I should pay because it was totally an accident. I've played basketball in driveways for years, and I've never gotten injured until this time. While we're not rich, we're far from being on welfare; my parents earn a pretty good living. The problem is that we have a really high insurance deductible that we have not met this calendar year yet, since all of us have been healthy so far. Since this happened in December, the whole $800 has to come "out of our pocket," as far as insurance is concerned. Who do you think should pay for my medical bills? — Clumsy Player, Glendale, Arizona

CLUMSY PLAYER: The responsibility for paying the medical bills in this case belongs to your parents. Unless they're destitute, they should do so without raiding your bank account. They're the ones who took the gamble to have a high deductible on their medical insurance by paying a lower policy premium.

Your frugality in saving more then $1,000 should not be a factor in their decision. If you had spent your earnings foolishly and saved nothing, your parents would have to foot the bill anyhow. You shouldn't be punished for saving your money. Your parents should be proud of you for saving, and encouraging you to continue this wise practice.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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