DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 years old and have a good job working for an insurance company. I'm dating a guy in our office who is quite a bit older than I am. He is the first guy that I have ever really fallen for and I'd love to have a "serious" relationship with him that could even lead to marriage. But he has mentioned when we first started dating that a future marriage would be out of the question because he has been married twice and divorced both times. He also has two children, so he will never get married again.

Now he is telling me that he loves me and wants to keep our relationship strong. He even mentioned that it might be that we could live together in the future. I'm not positive that he really loves me or if he is just using me. We are sexually very active, and I'm so confused that I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think it would be better to look for love elsewhere and then sometimes I feel like I could change his mind and that we might eventually marry.

I really need to hear your advice and I hope you can advise me before I make a big mistake. — Nameless, Newark, N. J.

NAMELESS: This guy is using you and will do everything possible, short of marriage, to keep you for his satisfaction.

End the relationship and continue looking for your true love. This guy doesn't qualify. He says that he loves you, but his love is only in meaningless words.

Most young women in a serious relationship with a guy would like to see the relationship end in marriage. Under no circumstances should you accept his invitation to "play house" to keep the relationship strong. This guy is a con-man.

HE HAS A SPELL OVER ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and living in Portland, Oregon with my grandmother because my mom couldn't handle me. Last January I ran away from home for 10 days and during that time I met a guy in Marysville, California who is 28. I fell in love with him and, yes, we had sex.

After I was sent home by the police, I kept running away to see my boyfriend. I knew it was wrong, but I just couldn't help myself. I love my parents and they have given me a good home, but it's like this guy has a spell over me.

I'm doing pretty well at my grandmother's, but I'm afraid his spell will come over me again and I'll run away to him. Help! I really don't want to be a runaway again. — Nameless, Portland, Ore.

NAMELESS: This guy doesn't have a spell over you. You became infatuated with him because you felt grown-up, free, and important when you were with him. But those feelings are illusions, as you clearly see now, and it is completely within your power to end this destructive relationship.

You have already surmounted some tremendously difficult obstacles, first, by admitting you have a problem, and second, by asking for help. Anyone who can do that is well on her way to getting her life back on track!

Portland is a beautiful city with good schools, and offers you a chance to be a teenager again. Get involved in school and church activities and community affairs. Once you meet and date a boy from Portland in your age group, you will forget about this older guy who could, and should be, behind bars for statutory assault.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.