DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 years old and the mother of a 3-month-old son. My husband is also 20 and I love him with all my heart and soul.

About a month ago, I learned that my very first boyfriend was killed in an automobile accident. He was my "first love" and we went steady for three months when we were both 15. He was driving to pick up his fiancee at 7 p.m. when his car was hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light. He was killed instantly while the drunk driver, ironically, wasn't seriously injured.

My friend's death was a tremendous shock and it has been an emotional strain on me ever since I found out about it. When he died I had no romantic feelings toward him. I'm positive that he was in love with his fiancee, and I'm sure he had no romantic feelings toward me. However, we have always been friends, and I know he would have grieved for me if I had been the one who died.

My problem is that my husband and my parents are upset with me because I have mourned Ken's death. Am I wrong for feeling this way? — Nameless, Orlando, Fla.

NAMELESS: I discussed your question with a clinical psychologist at Community Psychiatric Center in Santa Ana, California and was told that your feelings about the loss of a former friend are natural and sincere. Friends and acquaintances are to be mourned at their passing.

Your husband and parents need to relax about this matter and honor your feelings. They are making a major mistake and I suggest you show them my answer.

YOUR MESSAGE IS LOUD AND CLEAR

DR. WALLACE: I was reading about the 14-year-old who was sexually active and was sure she could handle her situation.

Her letter made me reflect on my own life since I, too, was sexually active at age 14. By the time I was 17, I had already been pregnant not only once, but twice. It was a blessing to me that my mother helped me through those very difficult times.

From my own experience I understand how truly difficult it is to warn a 14-year-old girl about the hazards involved in a sexual relationship at this young age. I also thought I knew it all, but believe me, no matter how much you think you know, something is bound to go wrong, and it is not easily corrected.

I was very fortunate to have an understanding mother and I am now happily married with a beautiful three-year-old son. My husband is aware of my unfortunate past, but I have been truly blessed because he is a loving, forgiving man, and our life with our little boy is wonderful! — Nameless, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

NAMELESS: Thanks for sharing a part of your life with our teen readers. Your message is loud and clear.

BEHAVE YOURSELF

DR. WALLACE: I attend a private Catholic school. Our teachers are all nuns and they are very strict. They usually have a ruler in hand and they use it to hit the students on the knuckles for the slightest infraction. I can tell you from experience that it really hurts! I thought there was a rule and that it is against the law for a teacher to hit a student. Is this true? - Anthony, York, Pa.

ANTHONY: Even though nearly all public schools and the majority of private schools have banned corporal punishment, some schools still employ it. If you think the disciplinary methods in your school seem harsh or unfair, behave yourself!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.