DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and dating a guy who is 23. He has many good qualities and one very bad one. He drinks too much. There are times I have thought of getting married to him and other times I want to dump him because I think he might become an alcoholic. One good thing is that he is employed and he has a college degree.

I've discussed this issue with him, but he laughs it off, saying he can control the alcohol. He might be right, but he still drinks a lot. My parents don't drink and neither do I, so I don't know much about alcoholism. I would really appreciate knowing the symptoms of beginning alcoholism. It's getting to the point that I'm having second thoughts about having him for my husband. — Nameless, Monmouth, Ill.

NAMELESS: According to the National Council on Alcoholism, the early danger signs of alcoholism include:

1. Feeling that parties or other festive occasions aren't complete without a couple of drinks.

2. More frequent use of drinking to "relieve" tension and fatigue and "get over" disappointment, frustration and quarrels at home or work.

3. Ability to handle more alcohol than others and a need to have a "few extras" when drinking with others.

4. Beginning of blackouts; parts of the previous evening cannot be remembered even though the individual did not pass out.

5. Drinking on a regular basis, but denying that a drinking problem exists.

Alcohol has destroyed far, far too many families. You're wise to be wary of your boyfriend's drinking. Don't risk allowing alcohol to destroy your future. Give him a choice: alcohol or you. It won't take long to find out whether he controls his drinking, or it controls him.

IT'S THE ONLY LANGUAGE BULLIES UNDERSTAND

DR. WALLACE: I am shocked that you advised a young boy who was being bullied by another boy to strike back and to "punch the bully in the nose." Are you not aware that violence is never the way to solve a problem? Problems are solved with love, open communication and compromise.

Please explain your philosophy of using violence to solve problems. I usually feel that your responses to teens are fair and compassionate. Were you having a bad day when you advised fighting to solve a problem? — Olivia, Reno, Nev.

OLIVIA: When love, open communication and compromise fail, there are times when a person must simply defend himself. This is the basis for my philosophy on being bullied: Use the least amount of fighting possible to eliminate suffering at the hands of a bully, who is nothing but a coward with a lot of bluster. But defend yourself by getting in a few good punches. It's the only "language" that many bullies understand.

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ARE EASY TO OBTAIN

DR. WALLACE: What's the more serious teen problem, alcohol or drugs? I'm doing a paper and need all the help I can get. An A on this paper will result in nothing lower than a B for the course. I'll be forever grateful if you help me. I'm a C student and an A or B in this class will be very handy. — Andy, San Antonio, Tex.

ANDY: The publication Careers and Colleges conducted a poll of 11th- and 12th-graders attending both public and private high schools across the United States on the use of drugs and alcohol. The results: 88 percent felt alcohol abuse was a problem among students who attend their schools, while 78 percent said their peers actually used drugs. Interestingly, 82 percent of the teens surveyed said students can easily obtain drugs in their communities while 80 percent said minors can easily get alcohol.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Sam Howzit