DR. WALLACE: Terry and I attend the same church. I'm 15 and he is 16. We like each other and are thinking about dating, but neither of us has ever been out on a date. I discussed this with my mother and she suggested that I contact you for some things that both Terry and I should be aware of when we begin dating. Terry knows I'm writing to you and we are wondering at what age you think teens should start dating. We want our first date to be something special, so any good ideas will be appreciated. — Erin, Michigan City, Ind.

ERIN: Teens today take dating for granted. Those who date on a regular basis worry about what to do on their dates, while those who don't date yet worry about getting dates. But the primary problem for most teens is when to start dating. In fact, maturity, not age, should be the guideline. Some 17-year-olds are not as socially mature as some teens who are 15.

I feel that teens should delay dating until they feel comfortable and self-confident and can take responsibility for their actions. For girls, the 15- to 16-year-old range is about right, and for the boys, who mature a little later, the range is between 16 and 17

But parents will have the final say concerning when you will begin to date. Most parents know when their teen is ready to date. However, a few parents may try to push their teens into early dating to insure popularity — RESIST THIS! You will know when it is time to date, so don't allow yourself to be rushed into something you do not feel comfortable with.

WHEN DATING FOR THE FIRST TIME, A GIRL SHOULD:

— Be ready to go on time. It's uncomfortable for your date to sit and wait for you.

— Be properly dressed for the occasion. Overdressing, or too much makeup, is as bad as underdressing.

— Always invite your date in and introduce him to your parents.

— Be yourself. Don't try to impress him with your accomplishments. Get him to share his interests with you.

— Don't ever discuss your previous dates with your current date. It's a turn-off.

— Never gossip or run down common friends. Keep the discussion positive.

— Be a good listener, but don't be afraid to speak your mind.

— Don't flirt. Your attention should be on your date, even if during the evening you discover that he's not your type.

— Smile and let him know that you are enjoying the evening.

— If you must freshen up during the evening, excuse yourself and fix your makeup and hair in the powder room. Never comb your hair in public.

— At the end of the date, if you want to see the boy again, feel free to ask him to call you again.

WHEN DATING FOR THE FIRST TIME, A GUY SHOULD:

— Be on time. A 7:30 date means just that. It's no fun for your date to sit and wait for you.

— Find out what time your date should be home and see that she is home on time.

— If you are driving, obey all traffic laws, don't speed and never drink and drive.

— Be a gentleman. Open doors, help her with her coat and pull out her chair.

— Be prepared to pay for all your date's expenses unless it has been previously discussed with her.

— Ask your date questions. Discover her interests and share yours. Be humble — no bragging, even if you are the star quarterback.

— Have a good sense of humor.

— In a crowd, concentrate on your date. Have eyes only for her. She will be watching you.

— If you enjoyed the evening, go for a quick goodnight kiss, but don't push the issue. "No," means no, and you should respect her wishes.

— Even if you don't get that kiss, tell her you enjoyed the evening and ask if you can see her again.

I'm well aware that many "progressive" teens will find these first date suggestions "old-fashioned" or "out of date," but common decency and manners are never out of date! If you and Terry decide to follow these suggestions, please contact me again with your results.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.