DR. WALLACE: My mom is a great cook, and all of my closest girlfriends do their best to try to get invited over to our house for dinner! If I even dangle a bit of news that my mom is making her famous pasta dish over an upcoming weekend, I'll have many friends begging me for an invitation to come over to our house to eat my mom's fantastic cooking!

This is all great, but I fear that some of my friends might like my mother's cooking much more than just my friendship. Yes, we're all girls who are mutual friends, but they seem to focus more on my mom than me! Is there anything I can do about this? I don't want to stop inviting friends over to have dinner with us, but I don't want it to be all about my mom either. One of my girlfriends actually brings my mom a small gift every time she gets invited over. — My Mom Is Famous in Our Town, via email

MY MOM IS FAMOUS IN OUR TOWN: Why not try to replicate your mom's recipes on a few local "road trips"? By this, I mean that you should have your mother write out her recipes for you and have her coach you to help her in the kitchen when she is concocting her famous and delicious dishes. Try this a few times until you get the hang of it. Once you feel you can at least closely replicate your mom's dishes, then ask one of your friends to consider your new idea of preparing a dish at her house! Have your friend get her mother and/or father to help you girls in the kitchen with the meal preparation.

This will allow you to shine and interact with one girlfriend at a time in their homes with a parent or two. I trust everyone will have fun and enjoy a great meal. You can then soak up all of the friendship that strengthens between you and each friend (and her family) but be sure to remain humble and give your mother all of the credit for the resulting wonderful meals.

I'VE NOTICED A BIG CHANGE IN HER DEMEANOR

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 16, and my very best friend in the world is another girl my age who is in most of my classes at school. She's usually very nice, normal, open and fun to talk to and hang out with. The two of us have been great best friends since we were 13.

But in the last two weeks, I noticed a change in her personality and demeanor. She's quieter, withdrawn and she even seems to look sad or gloomy most of the time. I don't know what's wrong! She and I still get along great, but she's lost her appetite to hang out and do the fun things we usually do such as shopping or listening to our favorite music together.

Since I know her so well, this makes me think something is going on in her life. Do I ask her to tell me what it is? I would help her, of course, but I'm afraid that if I say anything, she might feel like I'm trying to pry into her personal life too much. What can I do to help her? — Her Best Friend, via email

HER BEST FRIEND: Do speak with her, but don't pry or directly ask her to tell you anything specific. Instead, let her know that you've noticed that she seems quiet and sad lately and this has you a bit worried since you care for her so much.

Then, let her know that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk about anything, or if she needs any kind of favor. Go on to tell her that if your roles were reversed, she would likely notice that you felt sad and that she would really want to help you in any way she could if there were an appropriate way to do so.

And once you are done stating these things, give her a big hug and remind her that you are a call, text or email away if she ever needs anything that you can help her with.

From there, keep a close eye on her and her moods. If she regresses into even more sadness, you may want to let her family, particularly her mother, know about this. And if her family life is tough, it might be wise to let one of your favorite teachers or a counselor at your school know what you've noticed. This would not be a betrayal of your friendship and trust with her, but rather an act of love and caring to be sure she can get the guidance she needs if she continues to struggle.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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