DR. WALLACE: How can I not be judged for my past behavior? I used to do drugs, steal things and get into a lot of trouble, but I don't do any of those things anymore. I was a pretty bad kid at the age of 13 and 14, but after some counseling and guidance I have turned a page in my life. I'm now 17 and will turn 18 in March, but my current problem is I get ignored and avoided at school. I live in a modest-sized community, and a lot of my classmates and their families know all about my past. It's not like we live in a town of 500 people or anything like that, but we are not a big metropolitan city either. Our town has about 25,000 residents, so unfortunately for me, there are a lot of people who know my name but don't really know the real, current version of me.

This also means that a lot of my fellow students still think I do drugs and am out of control because that is what my previous reputation indicated on a regular basis. I've grown up, but I can't seem to outgrow my past.

Do you have any ideas on how I could socialize more and try to get my reputation reset with my classmates? — Been There and Don't Ever Want to Go Back, via email

BEEN THERE AND DON'T EVER WANT TO GO BACK: I suggest you speak to your school's administration and counselors. Tell them exactly what you've told me. Ask them if there are any volunteer programs or opportunities that they know of that might be suitable for you. Better yet, ask them for an introduction to some of the people who run local charities, volunteer programs and even drug counseling and rehabilitation centers.

Your life experience is likely quite valuable to the right individuals who are currently doing what you did when you were younger. Oftentimes, when a younger teenager is struggling or in regular trouble, this teen will actually listen to an older teen who has gone through similar experiences. You'll also be able to explain to some of these young people exactly how you were able to turn your life around.

And while you are spending some of your time doing volunteer work, I trust you will be able to meet other volunteers and also get to know the staff and management there much better as well. All of these people circulate regularly in your community, and it won't be too long until the word starts to spread about the person you currently are and the good work you're doing trying to help others.

Keep your eyes and ears open. You may be able to make some great friends near your age and maybe even a few that even now attend your specific high school.

WE HAVE ONE FRIEND THAT NEVER SEEMS TO PAY

DR. WALLACE: A group of college girls, including myself, are friends. We like to meet together once a week for happy hour to get some food and have some laughs together near our campus.

We usually take turns paying for the tab, but I've noticed a trend where there is one girl in our group who never pays! She'll sometimes say she left her purse or wallet at home or something like that, but we all know that there are many payment apps available that she could be using on her phone.

This is the one girl I know the least of our group. By this I mean I have not known her as long as the other two. And she's close with only one of the other two girls, so I don't want to say something that would cause tension or a problem between the whole group of us. But the reality is that I work a part-time job to pay my way through school, so it gets old having to always pay her "share," since she never rotates into the position of the one picking up the check.

Is there anything diplomatic I can do in this situation to get her to pay her fair share? She's a nice enough person and casual friend, but something is definitely off with her allergy to restaurant bills. She needs to step up and carry her weight, in my opinion. — Enough Is Enough, via email

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: In my opinion, I feel a good, diplomatic first step would be to seek out the other girl in your group who is the closest one to this particular girl. Speak with her friend alone on campus one day and casually mention what you've noticed, but say it in a non-condescending way. Ask the other girl sincerely in an even tone of voice if your mutual friend is going through some kind of financial crisis of some sort. Then say nothing more and await the reply.

This other girl may have an answer that will dissolve the mystery for you, or she may simply shrug and say that she doesn't know what's going on. If the latter is the case, then you have a decision to make in terms of bringing the subject up — diplomatically, of course.

One way to do this would be to suggest separate checks in the future, or to have your group all download a bill sharing app that can allow for partial payments by each individual.

If it turns out that this girl does have a true financial emergency or limitation of some sort, then you will have to make your own decision on how to proceed if she informs your group that she can't or won't contribute.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: paulbr75 at Pixabay