DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 years old, and my girlfriend broke up with me because she said she needed her space. She said I was "smothering" her with my constant cooing in her ear and my flowery poems that I wrote for her. Yes, I'm a romantic, but I see myself as a harmless romantic. She actually told me as she was breaking up with me that she felt my desire for her was so "over the top" that it was creepy and scared her.

I'll admit that I've been in love with this girl for years, even though we only ended up dating for two months. Our breakup was very hard on me since I saw her as my dream girl and future wife. I even had the names of our kids picked out, and I guess I made the mistake of telling this to her.

Last week, I called and told her I felt I could calm down and act more normal around her if she would just give me another chance. But she would have none of it, and she told me it was too late and that she wanted to move on.

What should I do now? Do you think I can get her back? I find I'm spending all of my free time now trying to think of a way to get her to reconsider. — Super Smitten, via email

SUPER SMITTEN: I highly doubt it. I would say it's a near certainty she won't come back as long as you hold on to such intense feelings about her.

That's why she felt smothered in the first place! Let her go, and get on with your life. Get involved. Join some clubs, and have activities planned. The worst thing you can do is wonder about how you might scheme to win her back; you must come to realize that she is not thinking of you.

The best thing you can do is to learn from this experience and find a few new girls to date. And when you do, please learn to give them some space, and try not to come on too strong. You already know how that works out. It's fine to be nice, loyal and respectful, but do not make any assumptions, and don't project your current status into a three- or five-year plan once you've met someone new.

TAKE THE JOB!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and a girl who needs your advice. I have a steady boyfriend, and we care about each other very much. We get to see each other only twice a week as things are right now.

The family next door wants me to babysit for them five evenings a week, Monday through Friday. The pay for this job is great for a girl my age; they said they would give me $40 for 3 1/2 hours per night. The hours I would work from would be 6 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.

The problem is if I take that job, I only get to see my boyfriend on Saturday nights because our parents won't let us date on Sunday nights.

I have not yet made any commitment, so I've asked my boyfriend what he thought, and he said it was my decision. What would be your advice? I'm a good student, and I can study after the little girl (she's 4!) goes to sleep. — Not Sure, via email

NOT SURE: It all depends on how important the money is to you and possibly your family. Two hundred dollars a week is a nice amount of money, and you would deserve every penny by being a conscientious and dependable babysitter.

My advice would be to take the job and see how things progress with your social life. You can always quit (with proper notice, of course) if it doesn't work out well. Just be sure you are fully transparent with your family, your boyfriend and the family that is requesting your services. Be honest and honorable with everyone involved; you'll likely do this naturally.

If you get off to a good start and find you'd like an occasional Friday night off to spend a bit more time with your boyfriend, maybe this can be arranged. You might even find a reliable girlfriend who can occasionally cover for you if this family finds her as dependable as you are.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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