DR. WALLACE: My husband and I just discovered that our 19-year-old son is gay. We learned this by accident, in the worst possible way, unfortunately. We came home early from church one Sunday morning because my husband was feeling ill, and, to our profound surprise, we found our son and another young man together in a very personal and intimate situation in his bedroom with the door open. They were so focused on each other they apparently never heard us come through the front door. My husband was quite stunned, but fortunately, he was mostly speechless, which was a good thing at that time. I was shocked, but tried to remain cool and even used a relaxed tone of voice when speaking to my son that day. It was the most uncomfortable situation I can recall in my entire life.

The following day, our son left home and moved in with this other young man. That was five weeks ago, and in that time, we have not heard from him at all. We've called him, but he does not answer his telephone.

My husband and I have been doing a lot of thinking and talking to each other about our son. We are surprised with his choice of lifestyle, but we love him dearly and, of course, we accept him completely without conditions. I think the unfortunate thing is that we learned this in a shocking way.

I understand from a neighbor that there may be an organization for parents of gay and lesbian children, but they have only heard about it in passing. I'm hesitant to just start calling one I find online. Will you please give us the name of any reputable organization you know of regarding this situation? My husband and I readily admit we have a lot to learn and understand. We wish to remain good, loving parents to our son. We have now had enough time for the shock to wear off, and we wish to do all we can to let him know we deeply love and support him — and that will never, ever change. — Parents Needing Education, via email

PARENTS: The organization is Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays; it was started by parents of gay and lesbian children who were looking for support for and from each other. The national office address is 1828 L Street, NW, Suite 660, Washington, DC 20036. You can also find information on their website or by calling 202-467-8180. There are more than 400 PFLAG Groups in the United States. I encourage you to contact them. They will be able to help educate you and reunite you with your son. I applaud your willingness to learn more about your son and accept him as he is. I wish every parent I hear from on this topic were as considerate and loving as you and your husband obviously are.

DO NIGHTTIME SNACKS BUILD FAT?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and just a little overweight. The other ladies in my family are a bit heavy, too, and most of them do not eat a good diet. So I have set a personal goal to lose 12 pounds, and so far, I've lost 4 pounds in the last 3 weeks! I count calories rigorously and stick to my targets. I eat an apple or some other fruit at bedtime or just before bedtime — maybe 30 minutes before I turn in. My older know-it-all brother keeps informing me that everything I eat before going to bed turns into fat because when you're sleeping your body is not burning up the calories fast enough due to the lack of activity when sleeping. Is this true? I hope not! — Little Sister With Goals, Toledo, Ohio

LITTLE SISTER: First of all, I am impressed with your drive to achieve your goal; good for you! Eating an apple before bedtime will not harm your diet and it will absolutely not turn into fat! It is better to eat a little earlier because the body can work it off a bit better, but in the case of an 80-calorie apple, eat it anytime you choose; just remember to brush your teeth before you jump into bed!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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