DR. WALLACE: Whenever I'm upset or angry, my parents have taught me to keep it inside me and not to show anger. My psychology professor is teaching us that it's better to "let off steam" when angry and not to keep it hidden inside. Were my parents in error? — Kyle, Bloomington, Ind.

KYLE: Many mental health professionals feel that suppressing your anger may be more harmful than expressing it because you risk developing such stress-related problems as headaches, rashes, indigestion and insomnia.

Psychologist Zelda Segal states that although anger is one of the basic human emotions, many teens find it so unpleasant that they feel they must keep it inside them.

Psychiatrist Theodore Rubin, author of "The Angry Book," agrees with Dr. Segal: "People who are holding their anger inside tend to act sullen, and that leads to a breakdown in communication."

Dr. Segal, who has worked with young people in schools, suggests that angry feelings should not be hidden. She says that learning to deal effectively with anger can improve not only the quality of your relationships, but also your physical and mental well-being. Repressed anger, says Dr. Segal, can often be misdirected toward innocent bystanders. One teen interviewed admitted that she found herself constantly picking fights with her mother. She slowly became aware that she had been using her mother as a convenient target for the anger she was feeling toward her best friend, who had been making a strong play for the guy they both liked. She finally brought herself to level with her friend, and they discussed their conflict honestly. Both felt a sense of relief and the teen's home life improved.

Although there is nothing to be gained by denying our natural and honest feelings, expressing anger is not always easy. The following guidelines should help you handle your anger more effectively, strengthen your relationships and protect your well-being:

— Don't be fearful that your anger will drive others away. Friendships cannot endure if each party tiptoes around the other, afraid to be honest.

— When expressing anger, seek to improve a situation, not to gain revenge. Venting angry feelings is healthy, but name-calling or insults will only aggravate the problem.

— If you can't approach the person who has upset you, you can use other means of release: talking with a friend, taking a long walk, playing a sport or even having a good cry in private. Crying is a natural response to feeling hurt. It can provide a much-needed release for frustrations and help defuse the angry feelings that can destroy a relationship.

— Don't panic if, at times, your feelings seem stronger than the situation warrants. A particular incident may rub a hidden sore spot or it might be the last straw after an aggravating day. When that happens, simply follow up with an honest acknowledgment to the person involved and go on from there.

— Seek help if you need it. If your pent-up anger is interfering with your daily life, it is time to consult with someone whose advice you trust. You can begin with a parent, a school counselor, your family doctor or a close confidant, and, if need be, a therapist. Talking things over with an objective listener can often clear the way for constructive action. At the very least, it provides relief.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.