DR. WALLACE: I am 16 and live alone with my mother. My parents were divorced eight years ago and my mother struggled to take care of my older sister, my brother and me. My older brother was kicked out of school for selling drugs and is now in prison for illegal drug involvement. My sister is 18 and pregnant. She's living in Texas with our grandmother.

Fortunately, I have caused few problems for Mom. I get good grades and enjoy going to school. I'd like to get involved in school activities, but my mom won't allow it. She is so afraid that I will end up like my brother and sister that she smothers me. I have to be home 20 minutes after my last class. I'm not allowed to date and I'm not allowed to attend evening school activities such as plays, dances and football games. I really feel that I'm missing out on a lot of the fun things that I can never recapture once they've passed.

Please help me. It doesn't do any good for me to talk with my mom. She just won't listen to me. — Nameless, Tulsa, Okla.

NAMELESS: I receive many letters such as yours. I can understand why parents become overprotective, even though I feel they could find a more positive way to help teens maintain a good attitude.

It's important for Mom to understand that extracurricular school activities are excellent avenues for gaining social maturity. Contact your guidance counselor and ask this professional to invite Mom to school for a personal chat. Many times parents see things more clearly when a knowledgeable person presents a reasonable alternative.

It's been my observation that overly strict and rigid rules for teens often result in as much harm as no rules at all.

TAKE SUICIDE THREAT SERIOUSLY

DR. WALLACE: My best friend has been acting weird lately. Last week she told me she has been thinking about committing suicide because her boyfriend dumped her for another girl. She said it with a smile, so I don't know if she was just kidding around or if she was serious. I'm sort of confused about what I should do, if anything. I'd be crushed if she did kill herself and I did nothing to help her. — Nameless, Boise, Idaho.

NAMELESS: Never take a suicide threat as a joke. Talk to your friend about how much she has to live for. Research shows that talking to someone who harbors suicidal thoughts has a positive effect. Communication will help a troubled person unburden herself of tortured thoughts and stop feeling isolated.

It is also a good idea to discuss the situation with a school counselor or nurse — someone who can see to it that your friend receives the help she needs, if necessary. This professional will contact your friend's parents, who must be made aware of their daughter's state of mind.

Above all, remain a good and trusting friend, one who will lend a listening ear and offer wise and constructive advice. I also suggest contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 for more suggestions.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.