DR. WALLACE: I know you are against getting "high" on any substance at all, but please indulge me with my question for you. I'm a 21-year-old college student. I have friends who recently got into a big discussion with me about the potential drawbacks of substances (drugs) vs. alcohol.

I took the position that a moderate amount of weekly alcohol consumption was preferable to being an occasional user of various drugs and substances. I'm fully aware that a person who drinks alcohol here and there every week could eventually become an alcoholic, but I feel that for most social drinkers like me, that risk is low. Taking any illegal drug for any reason is something I will not do. My friends think my alcohol use is worse than them getting high a couple times a month. Where do you come down on our discussion? — I Refuse to Take Drugs, via email

I REFUSE TO TAKE DRUGS: Let's start with a few facts, namely that alcohol slows down and depresses the central nervous system. Many other various drugs are stimulants and even are taken for the euphoric feeling that users feel — at first. Dependency is usually considered to be much stronger for most illegal drugs when compared to alcohol.

You're quite correct that I don't advocate for the usage of either for teens or young adults, but to answer your question, I feel that drug usage is more dangerous. However, I have seen the negative effects of alcohol up close and in person during several counseling sessions in which I have sought to help affected individuals and families. Alcohol can easily be abused, and its effects can also be quite detrimental to many people.

WE FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT THIS!

DR. WALLACE: My sister and I are really confused. We are 16 and 14, and about a year and a half ago, our parents broke up. Our father took off and never spoke to either of us girls since then.

Our mom was sad at first, but within a few months she seemed to move on and be happier. My sister and I were not that close to our father anyhow, so we didn't miss him and his loud and drunk behavior much at all.

To our utter surprise our mom told us that she's been talking to our father on the phone the past two weeks and that she's "thinking" about letting him come back to live here again. The first thing I asked her was, "Did he stop drinking lots of alcohol?"

And to this question, my mom replied, "I don't think so." We are old enough to know that our mom can do whatever she wants to, but what's strange is that almost every day this past week she's been asking us our opinion about whether or not we want him back.

We really don't think it's a good idea if he's going to be drunk all of the time like he was before. But we want to be careful how we answer our mom so we don't seem mean or bitter. It's beyond uncomfortable to be asked our opinion about her idea of bringing him back into our home every day. What can we do? — Two Uncomfortable Sisters, via email

TWO UNCOMFORTABLE SISTERS: Indeed, your mother is putting the two of you in a delicate and unenviable position. You're both wise beyond your years to answer her carefully and discuss this topic delicately.

I suggest honesty here. Tell your mother how you feel. Mention that if he's going to be drunk and mean that you don't see the point, but let her know that you respect her decision either way.

Also tell her that if he can make some positive changes in his own life first that it might make a reunion possible or even feasible if his behavior can be harmonious within the family unit, rather than detrimental.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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