DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend Justin and I have been dating for about five months. For the first three months, things were wonderful. I thought I had found the perfect guy. He is very handsome and a good athlete. He has a great sense of humor and is a very bright guy and treated me with respect.
Then all of a sudden, he changed. He started saying bad things to me and used filthy language. I can't begin to tell you all the nasty things he said about me. Saying that I was a filthy pig was one of his nicer comments.
I keep waiting for him to get out of this funk, but it hasn't happened so far. At one time a few months ago, I thought I was falling in love with him. Now I think that my love for him has died! Still, somewhere in my mind, I get the feeling that if I stop seeing him, he will change and some other girl wind up with a wonderful guy. Help! What should I do now? Should I wait a month or two longer to see if he comes back around to the guy he was when I first met him? Anonymous, Tallahassee, Florida
ANONYMOUS: My guess is that the "real" Justin emerged after several months because he was secure enough in the relationship to believe you were his. I advise you to stop seeing him immediately. He has crossed a major line and violated all respect for you. Chances are that if he does change, it will be for the worse — into a full-fledged abuser.
His next girlfriend will no doubt also think she's getting a wonderful guy at first, but believe me, it likely won't last with her, either. He probably needs psychiatric help. If there is a diplomatic or anonymous way to steer him toward help, do so. But stay away from further engaging him in a relationship.
I APPLAUD YOUR HIGH SCHOOL
DR. WALLACE: I'm an A student, and academics are very important to me. I plan to be a medical doctor after completing all of my schooling. Our high school has a class on the evils of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. All students are required to take this two-week course in place of physical education. I don't smoke, drink or take drugs, and I doubt seriously that I ever will, so I'm very upset that I must take this class. I've already learned all about this stuff from my parents a long time ago. Why is the school teaching about them? Everyone already knows about the dangers of drugs. — Anonymous, via email
ANONYMOUS: Schools educate their students in certain non-academic subjects when there is a need to do so. Your parents were wise to discuss these addictive products with you, but many other parents have not done so with their children. Personally, I applaud your high school for requiring this course. The good news is that you will get an excellent grade in this class, given your existing knowledge of the subject matter.
CHANGE YOUR NAME
DR. WALLACE: I'm in the 11th grade and 17 years old. I don't like my first name at all and plan to have it legally changed before I graduate high school so that my transcripts and diploma will have my new name instead of the current one I despise.
My parents agree, but my grandmother is adamant that she will disown me if I do this. I was named Sheila, and I want it legally changed to Shelly. Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you that I was named after my grandmother. — Sheila (Shelly), Philadelphia
SHELIA/SHELLY: Change your name legally to Shelly. Grandma will be upset for a while, but it's not her call or her life. My guess is she'll eventually get over her pique and accept your decision. Explain to her that you still consider your "new" name to be named after hers and that you cherish that inspiration!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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