DR. WALLACE: I really need your help. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for the past eight months. We have occasional spats, but we are in love. He is also my very best friend. I can always turn to him whenever I have a problem. He is the perfect guy for me. He treats me like every girl wants to be treated.
Now there is a problem. I'm 19, and he is 29. To me, age difference is just a number. We are both adults, and so it isn't important at all to me. I want to get married and live with him forever, but he feels our age difference will cause problems. I tried to tell him that love overcomes all obstacles, but he still thinks that our age difference is too great. I'm now confused about what I should do. Please give me your advice. I'm positive you will tell me to hang in there and maybe my guy will change his mind. — Anonymous, Sacramento, California
ANONYMOUS: If the age difference were not a concern to your fellow, I would be willing to encourage you to remain in a relationship with him, but since that is not the case, I advise you to stop seeing him and get on with your life.
YOUR DATE WAS A BIG JERK
DR. WALLACE: I'm a big fan and read your column faithfully. I'm writing about your response to the girl in Texas who danced with a boy at the senior prom while her date went outside talking to his buddy on his cellphone.
When the girl's date returned, he was extremely upset that she was dancing with the other guy, and he left the prom, saying, "The guy you're dancing with can take you home." The girl's brother came and took her home, but she wrote that the prom was ruined for her.
She wrote you asking if you thought she had done anything wrong. You told her that her date was 100 percent wrong for not taking her home. But you added that she should not have danced with the other guy unless she asked for and received permission from her date.
I strongly disagree! I can't see where the girl did anything wrong, and I was disappointed when your answer suggested that she might have. It seems very sexist. Did we time warp back to the Victorian era? I thought women were way beyond having to ask permission from a date just to dance with another guy. I'm still a big fan of yours, but felt I had to speak up for the Texas girl and for all women. — Anonymous, Cumberland, Maryland
ANONYMOUS: I told the girl that I wasn't sure what the proper protocol would be in that situation, but I believe she should have asked her date if she could dance with the other guy. It's obvious that I gave her the wrong answer!
Over 100 young women wrote or emailed me informing me that my answer came directly from the dark ages. My humblest apologies to the young lady in Big Spring, Texas, who should have been told, "You did nothing wrong." Teens go to the prom to dance, and they cannot stand around and wait for a date to return to the dance floor — especially one who went outside to focus on a telephone call. Your date was a big jerk, and leaving the prom without taking you home showed serious immaturity and insecurity. Thanks for your excellent comments and interest in the column. We all make mistakes from time to time, and it's clear I made one here. After giving this situation further thought and reflection, I now stand corrected and agree with your perspective.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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