DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and in the 10th grade. The guy I'm seeing is 19. He's graduated from high school and is a full-time student at Valparaiso University. I met this guy this past summer at a restaurant. He was our waiter. He asked me for my phone number, and I gave it to him. The rest is history.
My parents are not pleased with the relationship because of the age difference. Our age difference is not a problem in our eyes because we are emotionally equal. Age is just a number. This guy and I are super fond of each other and hope someday to make our mutual admiration permanent.
My parents met when my mother was 19 and my dad was 23 and they have been married for over 20 years. Since my parents have a four-year age difference, why should our four-year age difference cause my parents to be concerned? — Anonymous, Valparaiso, Indiana
ANONYMOUS: Once both members of a couple have turned 18 and are no longer in high school, chronological age diminishes in importance. But the four-year difference from 15 to 19 is indeed quite significant in terms of physical, social and emotional maturity.
I'm aware that you feel comfortable in your relationship with this boy, but in this case I do agree with your parents that the age difference is a bit too great.
DO YOUR DAUGHTER A HUGE FAVOR
DR. WALLACE: How important is it for a family to have smoke detectors in the house? We have two parents and five children in our house, and we don't have a single smoke detector. My stepfather thinks we could escape if a fire broke out because we have evacuation routes organized and we practice them every month. My stepfather thinks a noisy smoke detector only causes panic if a crisis breaks out.
He also thinks that, if a fire broke out in our house, our dog would bark and wake him up. The reason I'm writing is that our health and safety teacher said a working smoke detector saves lives when a fire breaks out and there should be a smoke alarm near every bedroom door in all homes. I believe my teacher. Please answer my letter and tell my stepfather to buy us four smoke detectors for our house. Sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep at night. — Sleepless, Tampa, Florida
SLEEPLESS: Each year, thousands of people die because of house fires. Usually, it's not the fire or the heat that is the killer, but rather that heavy, often toxic, smoke. Smoke detectors alert families that danger is near. It's good that you have an escape route and practice it monthly, but it is unwise to not give your family the best possible warning of potential fire danger: working smoke detectors near every bedroom.
It's imperative that you do this immediately. Also, when you are practicing the family escape route, make sure all family members check closed doors for heat and instruct everyone to never open a door that is hot to the touch. This would require your family to also have an alternate escape plan in case a primary escape door is hot.
Please do your whole family a huge favor and lobby hard to have the detectors installed so your family can sleep safe and sound. You and all your family members absolutely deserve that. You could even offer to take a weekend job to pay for them if the expense might be an issue.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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