DR. WALLACE: We are parents of an 11-year-old daughter and a 12-year-old son. We are dedicated to being loving, compassionate parents and we will continue to do our very best during their teen years. We respect your advice to teens and we often discuss your column at the dinner table with our children. Since you are involved with teens on a daily basis, we would like your advice for being the best possible parents for teenagers. — Parents, St. Paul, Minn.

PARENTS: I have been invited to speak to many parent and teen groups in the United States and Canada. With the input I've received from these groups I have compiled a list of 10 family concerns that teens feel are most important in maintaining a happy, productive family. I hope you will find a few that will help you to continue to maintain a harmonious family life.

1. Teens want to know they are wanted and loved. Hugs, smiles, and kisses should be a daily ritual.

2. Teens want to be part of the total family. They want to help make some decisions on things like curfew and vacations, etc.

3. Teens want to be trusted. Trust must be given freely, but must be earned back if broken. No "snooper-vision" unless trust is broken.

4. Teens need to be heard. Parents should never operate on the premise that teens should be seen, but not heard. Parents need to know that the most important part of communication is listening.

5. Teens actually want reasonable family rules and want them enforced fairly.

6. Teens deserve an honest reason when the answer to a request is "No."

7. Teens want parents to play an important role in their active, and often confusing, lives.

8. Teens want mother and father to show respect for each other. Parents will disagree with one another, but should never show total disrespect or use unacceptable language, especially when their children are present. Parents should never, ever, ask the teen to enter into a mother/father "debate."

9. Teens want their parents to be good role models. Parents should never use the "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy. Parents must lead by example. If parents have undesirable traits, a University of Michigan survey found that 85 percent of teens eventually wind up with the same identical traits, including alcohol consumption and smoking.

10. Teens want guidance. Wise parents will show them the way. Never try to live your life through the life of your teen. If dad is an attorney, and the son thinks he wants to be an automobile mechanic, the choice should be completely up to the teen if he enjoys the work. Regardless of a teen's final profession, parental pride occurs when the son's or daughter's work ethic is 100 percent, plus!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.