DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and the youngest in my family. I also have two older brothers, aged 21 and 24, and one has a little boy and the older one has 2 little girls. Our mother is 46 years old and very beautiful, but she doesn't look old enough to have three grandchildren.

My problem is that mom always tells everyone that she is 39 if they ask, but she never ever mentions the three grandchildren. The only people who know this are her oldest friends and our relatives. In fact, she even has the little ones just call her Nan, which she says is short for grandma.

I try to get mom to tell people that she is a grandmother (I know she'd enjoy them saying, "but you don't look old enough to be a grandma!") But she never takes my advice and when I talked to my dad, he says he has given up and that there isn't anything he can do about this. He just accepts her as she is.

Except for this one thing, my mom is a wonderful mother and grandma and a special human being. Should I continue trying to get her to get real and tell it straight, or just give up like my dad? - Nameless, Mobile, Ala.

NAMELESS: Wonderful mothers and grandmas are allowed to have one teeny imperfection. You should just follow your dad's plan and accept mom just the way she is and stop trying to make her 'get real." She is real!

SEND COACH A MESSAGE

DR. WALLACE: Our high school has a good football team. Our coach is very strict and has a lot of rules that our team must follow. One rule is that we are not allowed to drink alcohol. I went to my friend's birthday party last night and was very surprised to see three of our players drinking beer. I didn't say anything but when I got home I told my mom about this and she said that I should tell the coach what I saw and that he would deal with it. My dad disagreed and thought I should just mind my own business and not be a tattletale. I sort of agree with my mom but I'm not sure what I should do. What do you think? — Nameless, Houston, Tex.

NAMELESS: The players were definitely in violation of team rules and used very bad judgment. The coach should be aware that some of his players are breaking team rules. I suggest you write an unsigned note to the coach informing him that you observed several team members breaking team rules and drinking at a birthday party. Do not mention any names. After you send him this message, forget about the incident and do not discuss it with anyone.

MY DAD HATES MY BEST FRIEND'S PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 years old and so is my best friend. Both of my parents work and do not get off until 5 p.m., so my mom lets me go to my best friend's house after school because her mother and my mother are also best friends. Then when my mom gets off work she picks me up there. My mom pays her friend, but it's not like she's really babysitting because my friend and I usually go to her room to talk, listen to music, or do our homework.

My problem is that my dad found out that my friend's parents are atheists and, since my parents are church people, my dad wants my mom to quit her job so she can be home when school is out.

I'm sure it's not possible for you to change my dad's opinion of atheists, but I want to hear what you think about not allowing me to go to my friend's house any more. He also doesn't want me to be her friend. Help! - Nameless, Talladega, Ala.

NAMELESS: Your father needs to put into practice the things he learned, or should have learned at his church — about "loving thy neighbor." His belligerent intolerance is likely to have only one effect: driving his daughter away from his church. It's natural for those who are "church people" to disagree with the philosophy of atheists, but to hate them is unacceptable.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.