DR. WALLACE: I'm almost 12 and have been with my adoptive parents ever since I was born. My real mother was an unwed parent when I was born. I know who my real mother is and she comes to see me once in a while. My adoptive parents are very old-fashioned and strict. I'm always on restriction when I mess up and I don't get to do everything my friends get to do.

Whenever I visit with my real mother she is very nice and tells me that she is sorry that she had to give me away. I don't like being adopted and I keep asking my real mom to take me home with her and she said she couldn't because my adoptive parents owned me. Why can't my real mother take me back to her house? — Nameless, Kansas City, Mo.

NAMELESS: Your adoptive parents are your "real" parents. For nearly 12 years they have provided you with food, shelter and love. They have always been there for you and cared for you when you were ill, picked you up when you have fallen down, and they will continue to take good care of you. Your parents are strict because they want you to be a responsible young lady. The day will come when you will truly appreciate all your parents have done for you.

Your parents don't "own" you — you are not a piece of property. They have legal responsibility for you and will do their very best to see that you become a well-adjusted, happy young lady. Being strict parents has nothing to do with you being adopted. It applies to all caring parents.

SOME TEENS MAKE SOUND DECISIONS

DR. WALLACE: A 16-year-old boy wrote to you recently saying that his father was upset with the boy's choice of friends. The boy said he was an excellent student, didn't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and behaved himself at school and at home.

He said that most of his friends are not good students, skip school regularly, and are often in trouble with the law. They also are sometimes involved with alcohol and drugs. Because of all of this, his dad wanted him to find new friends who had more things in common with him. I was upset that you agreed with his dad when the boy obviously wanted your help to be able to choose his own friends.

As long as this boy is a good kid and not in any trouble himself, you should have let him choose his own friends. Not all teens give in to peer pressure. Many of us can think for ourselves and make good decisions. — Nameless, Lake Charles, La.

NAMELESS: There are exceptions to most everything, but I firmly believe that when a "straight" kid hangs around with friends who skip school regularly, are in trouble with the law, drink, and take drugs, it's only a matter of time before he starts to want to experiment in the things his friends do routinely. If not, he is going to be left out of many activities.

As a father, I would not be happy to have my son hang around with friends who lacked moral character. This is why I agreed with the teen's father.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.