DR. WALLACE: Some people who know me consider me a loser, but maybe this loser can help her fellow female teens.

I'm 20, but when I was 16 I was deeply in love with a certain guy who was very active in drugs. He took everything and anything he could get his hands on. I "loved" this guy, and since I was straight I really thought I could change him. My parents were concerned and they warned me that he couldn't be changed, but I didn't listen. I was in love, and love conquers all.

He really wanted us to be together, so I quit school and moved in with him. Two months ago I moved out. I lived with him for three solid years and did everything possible to get him to lay off the drugs, but nothing worked.

All I got from the relationship was a lot of false hope, disappointment, grief, turmoil, trouble and two kids. I finally decided that he was never going to stop taking drugs and that my kids' futures are more important than trying to convert him.

Many times I have read in your column that girls love guys and think they can change the guys for the better. It sounds good, but in real life it just doesn't work that way. I'm not saying that girls should stop loving or seeing guys who are hooked on drugs and alcohol. What I am saying is that you are foolish if you think they are going to change their ways.

Even though I'm the mother of two children, I'm still only 20 and I'd like to get married. But the next time around I'll be much more selective. As my old grandmother used to tell me, "It's just as easy to fall in love with a wise man as it is to love a fool." I'm a little late, but now I'm a believer. — Ellie, San Diego, Calif.

ELLIE: Thanks for sharing with our teen readers. Your grandmother is a very bright lady!

I'M REALLY MISERABLE

DR. WALLACE: I'm told that I'm cute and that I have a good sense of humor and a wonderful personality. I'm also smart, so all these wonderful attributes should make me a very happy teen, but that's not the case. I'm 60 pounds overweight and have never been on a date because I'm obese and every diet has failed me. I appear to my friends that I'm a happy, bubbly teen, but in reality I'm miserable.

My parents are both overweight, so I don't know if I'm doomed to be obese all of my life or if I can eventually look like a healthy, normal young lady. Any advice will be appreciated. — Nameless, Memphis, Tenn.

NAMELESS: Most teens who are overweight consume more calories than their body needs during the day. But for some young people, a glandular disorder is the culprit. It's imperative that your parents make an appointment and accompany you for a consultation with your family doctor. You will then find out the reasons why you are overweight and, with the help and guidance of your parents, you can devise a plan to start turning things around. If your eating habits need restructuring, your doctor can put you in touch with a dietician who will help you make healthy eating choices. Eating properly and exercising regularly are the keys. They take self-discipline and dedication, but you are already motivated. You just need focus.

I'm positive you will succeed this time. Contact me in a month, and let me know how things are going for you. I care!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.