DR. WALLACE: I really have a great girlfriend, but there's one thing that absolutely drives me crazy about her. We both love the outdoors, so we're always hiking, boating, fishing, camping and exploring in various ways. But every time we go outside and it's warm, she wears this very oversized, ugly and somewhat ratty straw hat.

It's really beyond reproach, and it's not just me that feels this way. More than once I've made eye contact with other guys on a hiking trail after they look at her hat. They glance at me, make eye contact, and look back at her hat with a grimace on their face. It's basically "guy-to-guy speak" for "What is up with that hat?"

Of course, I've never said anything nor made any facial expression ever toward her or that hat, but I don't know how much longer I can hold on! Is there a delicate way to tell her she needs to retire that hat permanently? — That Straw Hat Is Atrocious, via email

THAT STRAW HAT IS ATROCIOUS: One idea would be to buy her a baseball-style hat or a cap that you not only approve of but think that she might actually wear. Take your time and maybe even consult other women that are friends of yours in regard to what type of hat to buy your girlfriend. Don't mention to them the straw hat; simply focus on what she'll be doing when she's wearing a new hat you wish to gift her, and try to get something that will fit her preferred color schemes and be both functional and comfortable for her.

In a best-case scenario, she will thank you for your gift, say nothing and start wearing the new hat in lieu of the older straw hat. However, you need to be prepared for her to challenge you regarding why you are buying her a hat. Plan in advance and think carefully about your answer, but stand your ground in terms of being able to tell her that you think this might be a more comfortable, compact and easier hat for her to use going forward. Then simply smile, hug her and hope for the best!

OUR BACKGROUNDS ARE EXACTLY OPPOSITE!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student, and I'm dating a lady who comes from a different background than I do. I'm kind of "old-school country," and she's definitely from an upscale family with plenty of resources. Now there's nothing wrong with that at all in general. She treats me well, is respectful and never talks down to me about my background, family or upbringing.

But she is a tad uppity in certain ways, especially her use of language. She'll use certain words, and if I state the word in another way, she'll correct me. If I'm referring to somewhere in Asia, she'll use the word "Orient" in reference to Asia, and she'll call every type of stroller a "pram," even if 3- or 4-year-old kids are being wheeled along in it.

When she has a party at her house, everything is extremely ornate, and there's no doubt she spends a lot of funds preparing the room exactly to her liking whenever she's going to be a hostess.

But there's also good news: She's definitely generous, and she makes it a point of alternating paying the restaurant bills with me every time we go out together. I'll admit that I'm pretty surprised that we have now been together for over four months and do get along well with each other interpersonally even though we are so different. Do you think there's hope for us long term? Or am I just kidding myself? If you have any suggestions, I'm open to considering them, as I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable going forward. — From Different Worlds but Still Together, via email

FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS BUT STILL TOGETHER: I'd say both of you are doing something right to reach the four-month mark smoothly together, so first off, keep doing the things that have sustained you both thus far.

As for suggestions, think of ways the two of you can move a bit toward the "worlds" of each other. Don't shoot for 50-50; instead, see if you can each move 20% to 25% toward the lifestyle of each other. For example, go on dates that each of you select that you're familiar and comfortable with. She may want to visit art galleries, museums or the opera. You likely have friends who like backyard barbecues and country fairs! See if you can both agree to accompany the other to their "world."

You may be surprised at how well this might work out, as whenever two compatible human beings who enjoy each other take the other into their personal lives before their union, it usually goes well. We are all innately interested in seeing, trying and experiencing new things. If the two of you can pull this off bilaterally, the chances of staying together increase, in my estimation.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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