DR. WALLACE: My best girlfriend is getting married soon, and we are all planning to attend the bachelorette party out of town on a future weekend. My boyfriend, however, doesn't like this idea, and feels that I should just give her a nice gift, but not spend time out of town with a group of "wild" girls, as he puts it.

I'd really like to attend this weekend as she is one of my closest friends, and all of our other mutual friends will be attending as well. But I fear that if I do go, it may cause tremendous strain within my own relationship.

Do you think I should go or just give her a nice gift and stay home that weekend? And for the record, the trip is about five weeks away as of right now. — I'd Like to Attend, via email

I'D LIKE TO ATTEND: All other things being congruent in your life for that particular weekend, I think you should absolutely accept the invitation and attend this event. Note that everyone else in your circle of friends is going, and you want to go, but are hesitant because your boyfriend doesn't want you to go.

I must tell you that this likely is a very bad sign for your relationship. Unless you had made firm plans long ago for that particular weekend, there is virtually no reason for you to NOT attend this event.

I suggest you ask your boyfriend why he doesn't want you to attend. Listen very carefully to each word of his answer. Also get him to expound upon his answer so that you can be quite sure as to his motivation.

This very well may be controlling, abusive behavior on his part. If so, consider the timing of this event to be a blessing as you are now aware of where he's coming from on this issue, and it gives you time to rethink your overall relationship and your place in it. Inside a healthy relationship both parties should enjoy personal freedom and opportunities to spend alone time with friends and family members. If you are being blocked or potentially blocked just because he wishes to control you, then I'd suggest you move on from your relationship and attend your friend's party, in that order.

I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THIS CAR

DR. WALLACE: I have a good friend who often gives me rides around town and to or from school once or twice a week. He's not my very best friend, but he is in a group of friends where we all get together from time to time. There are about eight to 12 of us that float in and out of attending various events together.

My problem is I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable riding in his car. He has his car all amped up like a hot rod and he is constantly squealing his tires and driving aggressively. He hasn't had any traffic accidents yet, but I feel he is definitely a candidate to have one someday if he doesn't calm down pretty soon.

Please don't tell me to talk to him about this since I don't want to raise his ire or make a big issue about it with my group of friends. What I would like you to do is to give me an idea on how to "excuse myself" from taking any more rides with him, hopefully in a way that won't have him catch on as to why I don't want to be in his car anymore. — Not Comfortable With This, via email

NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS: It may be wise to mention his driving habits to a responsible adult who may be able to witness this directly and then take an opportunity to speak with him, his family or local authorities accordingly.

The best way I can think of for you to avoid getting in his car anymore, especially at school, is to mention that you've taken up a new exercise program where you run or jog to and from school every day in order to burn calories and promote your own fitness.

But if you use this idea, be prepared to follow through so he won't see you getting a ride from someone else, for example. And one more thing to be careful about: plan your jogging path to be far away from the roads he normally drives on to and from your school.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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