DR. WALLACE: I've had a steady boyfriend for the past 15 months, and he's great in several respects, but he does have one major flaw. Every weekend he not only drinks a lot of alcohol but he drinks way too much. He always gets severely drunk every Friday and Saturday night, and I end up having to be the designated driver and the one who needs to sober him up before I can drop him off at his parents' house.

This often takes several hours even though I pour a ton of coffee and even water or iced tea into him. He's always pretty resistant at first, and even uses some foul language during that first hour after he's stopped drinking but wishes he could have "just one more." Finally, he returns to his normal, loving self, and he apologizes and goes into his home. This pattern goes on literally every single weekend.

Obviously, I've been willing to overlook this one flaw, so I'm not asking you about how I can get him to quit drinking, but instead how I can sober him up much quicker so that I don't have to end our weekend nights earlier and earlier in order to sober him up and get him home by his midnight curfew. — Need to Speed Up the Process, via email

NEED TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS: As you're probably already learning, there is no magic potion or formula that will speed up this process. Once a human being becomes intoxicated, the only thing that can undo this is the passage of time. For years, millions of people have tried hot coffee, strenuous exercise and even ice cold showers, all to no avail.

The body has its own internal rate at which it disburses alcohol, and nothing can speed this process up. I suggest you focus less on the speed at which you hope to sober him up and more upon having him address the fact that he has a serious drinking problem already at such a young age in life.

It is imperative that you encourage him to seek help with his situation before he harms himself or others around. Many good professional organizations exist that can be of help both to you and to him, so I suggest you begin that search immediately. Since you truly love and care for him, do not enable him one day longer. True love means being able to make hard decisions for the best during challenging times.

I'VE HAD FUN BUT STILL FEEL LEFT OUT

DR. WALLACE: Even though I've had a really fun summer, I still feel like I've been missing out on a lot. My friends and I have had a lot of fun times playing sports, taking hiking trips and fishing and camping with our parents at a nearby lake, but for the weeks we've been home, I have not been allowed to go to any late-night parties.

I'm 16 and will turn 17 at the end of October. Almost all of my 17-year-old friends get to go to parties, and about 70% of the 16-year-olds get to go to them as well. Unfortunately, I'm in the 30% group that does not ever get to attend any nighttime parties.

Why are some parents so strict about their teenage girls not being allowed to attend parties at night? — Feeling left out, via email

FEELING LEFT OUT: I suggest you focus on the fun times you enjoyed this summer rather than the opportunities you feel you may have missed. Every parent or set of parents has the right to set ground rules for their teenagers. From my experience, I've noticed over the years that girls tend to have earlier curfews than boys do, as well as fewer opportunities to venture outside the home to attend various events, especially those under the age of 17.

Many parents, especially fathers, keep a very close eye on their daughters. In the future, seek to communicate as much as you can to your parents about the venues you wish to attend, who else will be there and what adults we'll be present to supervise. See if you can get your parents to meet these other adults in person, or at least talk to them on the telephone.

In just over year, you'll formerly be an adult in the eyes of the law, and you can likely expect greater freedoms. In the meantime, seek to work with your parents rather than against them in your quest to expand your social opportunities.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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